Quarterbacks and boogers

Like bacon and cigarettes, coke and whores, boogers and QBs are inexorably linked. It's true, and I'll tell you how: A few weeks back I was wrapping up my final season in semi pro football (my 12th overall), and at practice I remember going over a few technique tips. Namely, how to execute a "play action pass", or for our non football fan reader(s) a deceptive tactic where the QB (me) acts like he's giving the ball to a runner, but actually keeps it and then throws it. The key is to hold the ball with your non throwing hand and while faking the hand off, "scrape the back of your hand across the runner's stomach like you are trying to wipe off a booger", as coaches will tell you. We're doing the drill, and the coach even says: "Get the snap, Scrape the booger!, set and deliver the ball ". In the next drill, we (the QBs) are throwing short passes, and the key is to deliver the ball with a "flicking motion" in your follow through, to insure accuracy, much like you are flicking a booger off of your index finger using your thumb. I airmailed a pass to a running back and the coach screamed: "Come the fuck on, JC!! Flick the booger!!, You're damn near 40 (37 actually), you've flicked more boogers than any of us!!!" (Which is true, disgustingly true.) I'll most likely never put the pads on or play football ever again, and there are a million things I'll miss about it: The intensity, the shit-talking, the camaraderie and the spectacle of it all. One thing I won't miss is booger talk.