CM answers mama en fuego's 20 questions

These are the answers, for the questions, go to http://www.mamaenfuego.blogspot.com/

1. Keep and reuse. I'm from the hood, that's how we get down.
2. Jitman, with the ability to shoot goo on command anyplace, anytime
3. I've never heard of the rule
4. Yes, but I don't usually floss.
5. Los Angeles, California
6. I'd have to meet Jesus Christ. No Doubt.
7. Yes, I picture it as one continuous money shot.
8. Yes, I picture it as a football game against Al Qeada where I lose 58-0, everyday.
9. No
10. I say: "Nice job"
11. No
12. I segregate
13. A beautiful girl from Indiana named Alyce
14. I hold it. Only chicks can't hold it.
15. I whip out MY crank and scream: "Scoreboard!!!"
16. On Ungaro suits, Gucci loafers and Bill Blass ties
17. Successful
18. Not really
19. I put a rainbow sticker on a friend's car bumper, and the dude wasn't gay. Best gag ever.
20. Investigate and get involved if I have to. When used as a projectile, my 6-1, 217 pound carcass can be a deadly weapon.

Great set of questions M E F.

CM's DVD joint o' the week

Dead Bang (1989), is a very underrated flick about a haggard, hungover LA cop (Don Johnson) trying to track down a cop killer/ white supremacist, with the "help" of a straight laced fed (William Forsythe). The movie is full of many great little moments, and although it bombed at the box office, I loved it. It has a great cast: Tim Reid, Tate Donovan, Penelope Ann Miller and a weasel-like small town sheriff (Brad Sullivan). Available at www.amazon.com for about $9, if you dig action and the "less than pristine" hero, you'll want to check out Dead Bang.

Big 12 South Preview: Texas Tech

Who's the only member of the Big 12 with 11 straight winning seasons? Texas Technological, that's who. Creampuff non-conference schedules aside (Northwestern St., Indiana St.,FIU, etc.), Mike Leach has averaged about 8 wins a season with his wild assed, video game coaching stylings. They lose a ton on D and at WR, but picking them 4th (many have them 5th) is still tough because I think they will potentially have a better overall record than the 3rd place team.

Best Player: (#6) QB - Graham Harrell - 6-3 -197 - Hands down the most talented QB ever to play at Tech, many lesser QBs have thrived in Leach's pass happy system. This is a huge plus because the QB is EXTRA critical in said system, and Harrell's arm and release are magical
Player to watch: (#2) RB - Shannon Woods - 5-11 - 190 - Not only does he have a chance to put up about 2200 all purpose yards, his blitz pickups are absolutely critical, as Leach's system uses no TEs or FBs to help in pass protection
Player successful season most hinges on: (#48) MLB - Paul Williams - 6-1 -221 - A small middle linebacker, behind a small set of DTs, combined with the fact that your opponents always look to run the football and keep your offense off of the field, is usually bad news. Williams was caught behind cats like Fletcher Session and Brock Stratton last year, but he still managed to start 6 games. It's his show now, and the Raiders need him and those DTs ( Rajon Henry, 258lbs and Rich Jones, 285lbs) to handle their business


Why they will win the Big 12: Another huge long shot, but if Harrell throws for 5500 yards and and 50 tds....

Why they won't: Defense and special teams deficiencies show up when you play the likes of OU, and UT, and A&M may finally have the running game to get over the TTech hump



Predicted record - 8-4, Sun Bowl

Big 12 South preview: Oklahoma State

Coach Mike Gundy is a young, charismatic offensive mind, an absolute perfect foil to the young, charismatic defensive genius over in Norman. This looks to be Gundy's best offense yet, so picking them 5th in the division is extremely difficult, but again what a helluva division to be in. Not only that, they draw Georgia in Athens to open the season. If not for all of the road games, these cats have the talent to win 10 games.

Best Player - (#14) QB - Bobby Reid - 6-3 - 235 - The Big 12 is loaded with great QBs and Reid is only thought to be 6th best on that list. I completely disagree with that assessment, as Reid has more physical ability than any QB in the conference. Look for 3500 total yards and 30-40 TDs out of this kid. He's big time
Player to watch - (#22) RB - Dantrell Savage - 5-9 -195 - If he stays healthy, look out. Turning the corner and getting to the boundary are this kid's strengths. Sprinter-type speed (4.29 40)
Player successful season most hinges on - (#83) WR Artrell Woods - It has much more to do with his speed taking the heat off of All American WR (#12) Adarius Bowman, who will surely draw double coverage all season
Why they will win the Big 12: A long shot indeed, but if Reid starts to live up to the Vince Young comparisons, and a young (but experienced) defense can rise up..
Why they won't: The road schedule is a bitch, and they don't have the defense to match the big 2 (UT & OU)

Predicted 2007 record: 7-5, Independence Bowl

Big 12 South Preview: Baylor

The crew in Waco lost a ton of players this past year, but since they went 4-8, maybe that's a good thing. I'm a big believer in coach Guy Morriss (he was a guard on the 1980 Philly Eagles and the 1986 New England Pats Super Bowl teams) and the Baylor athletic department is too, to the tune of 1.2 million bucks a season. The Bear faithful want some results and I think they will suprise some folks. No bowl berth yet, but I think '08 will be the year they break through.

Best Player: (#41) MLB Joe Pawelek - 6-2 -231 - 2nd team All Big 12 in '06, Pawelek and OLB Nick Moore will be counted on to lead the D. Pawelek is excellent in pass coverage for a middle linebacker

Player to watch: (#4) WR David Gettis - 6-4 - 206 - Sprinter from Los Angeles is a 4.3 40 guy who is learning the game rapidly. When he figures it out, it's on

Player successful season most hinges on: (#7) QB - Mike Machen - 6-6 - 237 - You can say that about almost any team, but Machen (a Kent State transfer) first must beat out John David Weed and Blake Szymanski, and then find a way to get Gettis more involved for the Bears to have a chance

Why they will win the Big 12: They won't, but if (#2) RB Brandon Whitaker runs for 1200 yards and Gettis turns into Randy Moss....

Why they won't: Lack of proven talent and a murderous division

Predicted 2007 record: 5-7

Why the Big 12 is underrated

As I will undoubtedly show in the coming weeks, the Big 12 South is the best division in college football. Hell, the entire conference boast 5 participants in the last 7 national championship games (OU, 3, UT 1 and Nebraska 1), so the road to the title seemingly always runs through the flyover states. I think the SEC is the best top to bottom while the Big 10 has a HUGE media alumni so they get tons of mention. (I tell my Michigan home boys that PSU legitimized that conference when they showed up) The ACC is down because FSU and Miami ain't what they were, but that will change quickly. The PAC 10 needs a U Dub (Washington) resurgence in the worst way, or they will just be USC and a bunch of pass happy teams. The Big East is also underrated, as I think very highly of WVA and Louisville, and teams like Rutgers and South Florida are on the come. In the coming weeks I'll take you inside the Big 12 South, a division with 2 national title contenders in OU and UT, and 3 legitimate top 25 teams (TTech, UTA&M and OSU) and for my money the most competitive last place team in the nation in Baylor, whom I consider a bowl hopeful in '07.

You're kidding, right?

This is just too funny. Venezuelan Dictator.......errrrr, President Hugo Chavez has been stockpiling weapons (Russian issue hardware) in preparations for a "war" with the United States. Chavez thinks that the U.S. is interested in the country's oil reserves. I heard some where (in some bar owned by some ol' Air Force burnout, I think) that Chavo once inquired as to the feasibility of Venezuela invading the southern U.S. His own military advisers thought that the idea was laughable. As much as war sucks, the thought of lining up N.Korea, Venezuela and Iran, kind of jazzes me a lil'. Since Bin Laden won't come out and fight like a man (he's probably dead anyway) maybe KJI, Chavo and Ahmedgenocide will.

CM's DVD joint o' the week

I'm not a huge Steven King guy, but dude is pretty fuckin' good. Thinner (1996) is available at http://www.amazon.com/ for about $8. Y'know how movies get different titles overseas? If this one was released in Gypsylvania, it would be called The Curse of the White Man from Town. A recurring theme on this sure to fail cyber segment is the fact that it has a little something fo' everybody: Mobsters (Joe Montegne), Gypsies (including cancer face here (Mike Constantine) and a cute lil' Gyp hooker (Kari Wuhrer) who will spit as often as she can), heavy food and sex play, old world curses, and the always delicious revenge fantasy. A really old Gypsy (Constantine) places a curse on a lawyer (Robert Burke) and away we go. If only to hear the ol' Gyp up top drop a "white man from town" blast on the white man from town, Thinner is an enjoyable viewing.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to watch Rice in the CWS

Hoot 'em Owls!

Cuban spotted in LA; Kobe heading to Dallas?

With Maverick Owner Mark Cuban spotted in LA, all kinds of rumors are flying. The biggest is a trade of Jason Terry, Josh Howard and Devin Harris for Smush Parker and Kobe Bryant. I can't tell you how fast I'd do that deal if I was the Mavs. I'm skeptical of these types of rumors, so I'll believe it when I see it.

CM rates the Hollywood QBs

No, they're not pussies, X. This is ol' #8's rundown of the QBs you see on TV or in th' movies.



The Good:

Lucas Black (Mike Winchell) - Friday Night Lights - Odessa used its QB more for running and leadership, but when Black had to throw, he was good

Peter Dante (Gee Grenouille) - The Waterboy - The dude seems like a decent athlete and his mechanics were solid

Adam Sandler (Paul Crewe) - The Longest Yard - He brought in former USC QB Sean Salisbury to help and it showed. Not great velocity, but his mechanics were good, and he threw spirals

Kip Pardue (Ronnie Bass) - Remember The Titans - Again, TC Williams didn't throw much, but Pardue had the goods. Best release of the Hollywood types

Leon (Shadow) - All The Right Moves - This dude looks like he could actually play. If you saw him shoot jumpers in Flamingo Kid, you know what kind of athlete he is. The best overall of the bunch, hands down

Now the bad:

Jerry O'Connell (Frank Cushman) - Jerry Maguire - Brutal. Absolutely awful. Horrible release, looks like it hurt to throw the football

Chris Wiehl (Derek McConnell) - Playmakers - Putrid, the worst of the bunch. I don't know how he even got the ball airborne with that release. No arm strength at all

Keanu Reeves (Shane Falco) - The Replacements - Po-Thetic. This guy was so bad that they rarely showed his entire set up and delivery on camera. The Jeff George of Hollywood QBs



Now, O'Connell and company would tell you that ol' CM ain't much of an actor (I had non speaking parts in a commercial and music video), but that ain't what we're talkin' about here, damnit!

Mrs. CM demands equal time

The best thing is, she'll never be mistaken for Skeletor.

Post career Tim Duncan makes an appearance on the deuce

"Sir, apparently, your pcv valve is shot."

CM's DVD joint o' the week

The Wanderers, ($14.99 on amazon) is a movie with something for everyone. Italian, Black, Asian and Irish gangs, a big football game, and the world famous "elbow tit". The scene where Richie (Ken Wahl) is walking through the alley Italian style (i.e. with his ass cranked up) and whistling for the other Wanderers to come out for a stroll is great. The classroom scene where the teacher asks for the racial breakdown and Clinton (Michael Wright) doesn't get up when the teacher asks for the blacks with his reason being "I'm an Eskimo", is genius. Set in 1963, made in 1979, The Wanderers is one of my all time favorite movies ever.

NFL Europa's dead!

Now this: In news that will please both Krusty the clown AND Mark Cuban, the NFL's spring developmental league NFL Europa is on life support. With the league basically becoming German only (1 of the 6 teams calls Amsterdam home) and losing money, (1 million this year) an outside consulting team will be brought in to analyze the feasibility of continuing this deal. The answer is expected to be no. The money is not that big of an issue. At the heart of the matter, is the development of undrafted players particularly, the QB position. In the mid to late 1990's, college QB's weren't throwing the ball as much, so they needed the reps, but from 1999 on, the "spread" passing offense came into vogue, and now these cats are all a lil' bit more advanced in said development. This bodes well for the new football league that Mark Cuban is a part of, as 250 more decent players will be available. XFL and USFL aside, I still believe a spring league would be the move (the new league will play a fall schedule) from a ratings standpoint, as football crushes just about anything it goes against. I think that Cubes and the UFL guys want players to "make a decision", not to use their league in the spring to get to the NFL in the fall, which does have some merit. This will also help the new league to get big name veterans that get squeezed by the NFL. In the end, by merger or attrition, the NFL always wins these battles, but Cuban and co. can maybe hope to get one or two NFL franchises out of it. Los Angeles and Las Vegas maybe?

CM III and IV demand equal time

With me posting photos of my eldest son, Lorenzo,18, my two youngest boys Carlo,10, (on top) and Troy, 7,(on bottom) have taken time in between trying to kill each other to demand equal time on our lil' blog spot. Carlo is thought by many (including his principal) to be the fastest kid in 4th grade at White Rock Elementary, while Troy hit .960 (32 of 33) with 5 homers in 10 games with the Seagoville Reds, leading them to a 9-1 record and the league championship. Here you go boys, enjoy your time out west for the summer, believe me, I will.

Port City wins 2007 TUFL Title

This just in: The Port City Jags have won the 2007 TUFL Championship with a 40-37 victory over the Texas Colts this past weekend. The team pictured to the left is my team, the 2007 Dallas Xpress, who went a robust 5-5 in '07. Victims of a dreaded "coin toss tie breaker" DX football just missed out on the ass end of the playoffs. 5-5 is great for an expansion team, but it's not how I envisioned going out. You can go to www.htosports.com/dallasxpress and click on the roster page to check out my season stats (page 2 of the roster field, click on #4 QB) and very short bio, which, by the way, magically adds an inch in height and 15 lbs in weight to me. I only played a handful of plays and threw even fewer passes, but I had no picks and a good completion %. It's probably the last team I'll ever suit up for, but what a great group of guys. I wish those boys luck in 2008, as the '07 bunch will be better after a year of playing together.

Editors note: We lost our season opener to the champs, and quite frankly I didn't think they had it (the championship) in them. Congrats, Jags, you deserve it.

That's a big ass robot

Keeping with the MMA thread, one non-UFC cat to watch is the Techno Goliath, Hong Man Choi. The 27 year old South Korean stands 7-3 and weighs 364 lbs and enters the ring to loud techno music, and is usually accompanied by some really cute Asian fly girl style dancers. Not only that, big boy can move a lil'. He's been known to join in the dance steps as well as break into, you guessed it, the robot. Now that, is one hell of a visual. Apparently, Choi was denied a license just days before his scheduled match with Brock Lesnar, but Lesnar remained hopeful of eventually "getting it on with the guy with the big head".

CM's plan to fix MMA

Mixed martial arts is growing about as fast as Under Armour athletic gear: At about a 1000% clip in the past few years. It's getting so popular that there have become "crossover athletes", like wrestling's Brock Lesnar, boxing's Tommy Morrison and football's Johnnie Morton. Haven't noticed? Well that's due to the fact that the sport doesn't have a highest level, an NFL or NBA, so to speak. Of course the UFC will tell you they are king, and they may be #1, but the K-1, guys or the Pride cats will beg to differ. Then there's Bodog and IFL, also with a bunch of dudes that lay it on the line. That's just way too many factions, and leads to confusion as opposed to debate over who the best really is. Someone is going to have to do a Vince McMahon Sr. to make this even more popular. Mr.McMahon's dad created a national wrestling federation at a time when the promotions were all regional. Selling this idea was easier than getting all of the various MMA factions on the same page will be, but here's how it could be done: First and most obvious is for the total unification of the factions into one "NFL" type of league. You could then regionalize the sport with multiple fights with popular fighters from certain areas, i.e: Diego Sanchez (Alb., NM) along with newcomer Tommy Morrison (Okla.), with Guy Metzger's dojo here in Dallas being the region's headquarters, could have fights in Texas, Oklahoma City, and Colorado. Rich Franklin (Cinn., OH) could join Stephan Bonner (Ind.), Matt Hughes (Iowa) in an Midwest and Ohio Valley tour, while newcomer Brock Lesnar (Minn.) and Rashard Evans could do a Minnesota/upper peninsula swing. Tito Ortiz (Ca.) and Hong Man Choi (S.Korea; He's the green haired, 7-3 365 lb. giant pictured holding the trophy ), along with some help from Ken's Shamrock's Lion's Den dojo of fighters could do a west coast/Arizona series. It could all culminate with a series of title fights in Las Vegas, Atlantic City, or any large venue along the eastern seaboard. A Superbowl, or World Series, whatever catchy name you want to call it, would be the culmination of the season and a springboard for the next season. Now, most of the fighters I just mentioned are with the UFC, so the most likely real scenario would be them getting all of the best fighters (Choi, Mighty Mo, Bob Sapp and the newcomers Lesnar and Morrison) to sign with them, and using their deal with Spike TV, to unify this thing and declare real, undisputed champions. It may never happen because of the factions' inability or desire to get together, with the reason being that people like choices, so let's leave it as is. They'll continue to get the hardcore fan, (hell, my 18 yr old son is a black belt and wants to be an MMA fighter at Metzger's gym this summer, as do some of his friends) but if they want everybody, they have to have absolute champions, not the alphabet soup of title belts that pro boxing has become.

President Bush: Loved in Albania

President Bush visited Albania and was mobbed like a rock star. Now this proves one of two things: Either Albania doesn't receive the Bush bashing reports of our media, or chooses to make up their own minds. It seems to me that the main thing the Albanians care about is that Bush has proclaimed America a friend to all Democracies. W takes a ton of crap everywhere, and in some cases he deserves it, but it is kind of a good change when he gets a lil' love.

Sopranos series finale prediction

The much anticipated Sopranos series finale is expected to be the highest rated cable TV show ever, and I've got the inside scoop on the shocking end. In an unbelievable twist, Tony is clipped by Rutgers head football coach Greg Schiano. It's always the ones you love most that do it to you in the end.

If you'll excuse me, I've got a plane to Somalia to catch

Apparently over in Somalia, not only do Pirates exist, they are flourishing. According to Maritime Global.net, the African sea Carnies have nabbed several ships including a Dutch cargo vessel seized on Monday. The captain of the Dutch ship implored a French warship sailing nearby to intervene, but in a shocker, the Francophiles declined.

Big ups to los for directing the deuce to this story on his wildly popular "Topical Chat" cyber segment.

Crass calls out XO 3b aliens..and Bin Laden

"Y'all mutherfuckers are nuthin'!!" ,barked an aggravated Crassius Maximus, from his embedded North Dallas Logistics Compound. "I'm sick of you aliens, comin' down here and runnin' your mouths, making a name off of all the things that I do!" ...It's still early in this inevitable conflict, but I know who I'm bettin' on.

Cuba Gooding Jr.: Orderin' chicken, savin' lives

On Memorial Day, while at the world famous Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles (order the Big Momma if you ever go there) in Hollywood, Cuba Gooding Jr. encountered a young man bleeding from his dome after being shot. Acting quickly, he screamed for someone in the restaurant to get him some towels, which he then used to apply pressure to the man's wounds. He then flagged a police car and waited for an ambulance to arrive. It's kind of odd, I guess because I always kind of got the idea that he was indeed a swell guy.

He should have had a bigger part in Pearl Harbor.

The Jammy2 is not the only duece I've dropped on y'all

The young cat with the smirk on his face is my 18 year old son Lorenzo after his graduation. My apologies for the crappy photo, but the boys over at CVS had some developing issues. That photo should make me proud, and it does, but it also reminds me how bloated I've become.

CM tabbed to play Superman in "Superman Returns from the liquor store"

It's early, but I think it's going to come down to me and Tom Sizemore as to who gets the part.

Ok, hot shot

X's obsession with Debra Messing is very similar to his love of throwing passes to the wrong guys on Madden '07.

LStorch chimes in: I've seen it, it's brutal!

"He (Comrade X) is easily fooled by the angle drop of the out side linebackers, " said F Troop star Larry Storch. "Not only that, cover 2 gives him fits ", mused Storch, now an advance scout for the Seattle Seahawks.