CM's lick o' the week

The lick o' the week goes to: Dallas CB Nate Jones' cracking of Green Bay QB Brett Favre. The indestructible Favre has started 249 consecutive games, but was blasted by Jones after a pump fake, injuring his right elbow and separating his left shoulder, causing him to miss the rest of the game. Farve is the best QB I've ever seen, but oddly enough the Packers looked much better after backup Aaron Rodgers took over. We'll see if BF can recover in time to keep that streak going.

Don't fuck wif Knight....He'll shoot your ass

Texas Technological basketball coach Bob Knight is at it again. Knight was hunting recently in the Lubbock area, and apparently, people don't like shots fired near their homes. Go to the video at www.dallasnews.com/sports and.....REACT TO ME!!

Ho ass tricks II

Ho ass tricks I is floatin' around somewhere in cyber space I knows it....But dis is II, ok?....So let us begin then, ok?....Constantly negative people....AT & T, Atlantic or Pacific Bell or whomever you may use for your business phone/intranet needs, with their relentless pursuit of the over charge....Bill Belichek...Dennis Franchione...Workplaces where the company flies by the seat of its pants and "hopes the shit will work"....Blogging a-wholes doing sequels to bad cyber segments...Everyone else but me...Crazy whoores...Radio and TV ad execs trying to orchestrate a "one for one " swap of commericials and programming, resulting a 1:1 ratio of said commercials to programming.....These are just a few more of CM's Ho ass tricks, mmhmmm...

America's Team, bitch!!

Ok, ok. I know the Green Bay Packers match up well wif de Dallas, and if CB Chuckie Woodson and DE KGB can go, even better for the cheese/beer/brat homos...... At this point it just seems impossible to bet against the boys in blue......The NFL is getting top heavy again (almost in a 1970'sesque way) as the contenders look to be set up for runs beyond this season, lookit: Green Bay, at 10-1, the NFL's youngest team....New England, at 10-0 with San Francisco's number one pick, which looks to be a top 5er for certain....Dallas, also at 10-1 wif 2 # 1 picks and only Greg Ellis (32), Flozell Adams (32) and T.O. Owens (33) over the age of 28....Indy at 9-2, has added even more youth and speed to the league's fastest D with two new yootes at corner and really only Marvin Harrison (35) with any wear on his tires....Pittsburgh, at 7-3 stays young, has a young coach and a young Super Bowl winning QB...The Giants at 7-3 also have a young O, they just need to infuse the secondary with some good young players (Nebraska CB Zack Bowman or Notre Dame SS Tom Zbikowski could help)...It's TV season y'all, time to eat and drink until my innards explode....CM awaaaayyyy!!

Men who look like old lesbians

Huge ups to Independent Sources for identifying this blogspot: Men who look like old lesbians. Other notables: Roger Ebert, David Coverdale and Bruce Jenner. Great stuff guys, flat out fucking funny.

Oh, and Happy Thanksgiving, you fucking motherfucking motherfuckers!

CM's lick o' the week

You may have already seen this (I couldn't find it on You Tube), but my lick of the week goes to Jacksonville Jaguars' running back Maurice Jones Drew, for his absolute cracking of Chargers' linebacker Shawne Merriman. What's interesting to note here, is that Jones-Drew is about 5-7 and 210 lbs, while Merriman is 6-4 and 272 lbs. Also of note, is that Mr. Merriman was suspended for steroid use last year, so he is now subject to intense scrutiny and weekly drug tests. I remember playing against at least 3 dudes on steroids (one I had to block and two I pass rushed against) and when they were on the juice, they delivered some teeth rattling shots, but the next time I went against them, they were big ol' softies. Like two different players once they cycled off of the juice. I truly believe I could add 2 more years to my semi pro career if I took my ex-teammate up on his offer of nandrolone and human growth hormone, but I'm too much of a scaredy cat to put that stuff into my body. It is tempting though, as my traps and lats seem to be shrinking the closer I get to 40. I'll stick to pot, booze and memories...for now.

Saban carnies out again

Noted West Virginia carny and Alabama head football coach Nick Saban, obviously stunned by his team's inconceivable loss to UL Monroe, had a few interesting post game comments. The erstwhile gypsy compared the loss to other life changing events such as Pearl Harbor, and the September 11th trade center attacks. Hey Saban: Stop being a carny and stop making ludicrous comparisons. Alabama football just isn't that relevant anymore.

Texas Tech 34, No. 3 Oklahoma 27: Erastus celebrates by beating up a landscape worker!

It's sheer bedlam in the house of Deuce contributor erastii, as his belov'd Red Raiders have slapped the OU Sooners, thus ending their title hopes. Word has it, he spilled into the New Mexico night armed with an automatic weapon aimed skyward, wearing only cowboy boots, a zorro mask and a cowboy hat, holding a half full bottle of tequila. One can only hope that his massive, hanging gulliver at least partially shrouded his helicoptering west Texas crank.

WHY??????

CRASSIUS MAX....Why do I have to be Dom and you get to be Dwayne. Just a thought....Com X's pic is dead on.

R.I.P ....1944-1999...DON "HURRICANE" SMITH

Today will be 8yrs. since the late great "CANE" passed on. This picture of Jack Nicholson says it all, my dad looked just like this dude growing up. Anyway I just thought I'd throw this out there in loving memory.....R.I.P. POPS

Another shot to the balls

Com X's entire industry is under siege, and now a customer of mine, (since 1998) has gone away, causing a $1500 a month loss in revenue for ol' CM. Not a company killer by any means, but a goat slap to the mouth, fo' sho'. They (my customer) have told me that they were pleased with our service and would come back if the new system doesn't work, but that's a fuckin' long shot. They will still use my company periodically, just not every day anymore. It sucks, but it will just cause me to have to adapt. In reality, I needed a wake up call anyway. I'll just shake myself and put in some more work, and get this thing cranked back up. Or not. Either way, it's like erastus says: You inch closer to sleeping with the fishes every day, so make the best out of it, motherfucker.

Before they made their bones...

That's right people, it's time for the fastest growing cybersegment in the blogosphere, Before they made their bones. An in depth look at institutions, beings and entities, and how they got down before they gained notoriety. Today, we look at what some prominent colleges were calling themselves back in the day, along wif commentary, of course.

USC Methodists - I think they went to the Trojan card so they could dress up the band faggots in armor n' shit
University of Washington Sundodgers - The change to Huskies was needed because the brothers from South Central LA ain't goin' to play for a school called the fuckin' Sundodgers
Texas Tech Matadors - The change to Red Raiders was done in hopes that people would stop saying that Tech plays Matador defense...School officials in Lubbock are holding out hope that this will eventually work
Notre Dame Catholics - The Racketeering Italians was also considered before settling on the Fighting Irish, as the Domers wanted to find the most menacing form of Catholic humanly possible
Nebraska Bugeaters - The Cornhuskers decided that corn tastes better than bugs, but not by much
Oregon Web Foots - Again, the change to Ducks was done with recruiting the brothers from S.Central LA in mind, as Web Foot could be termed as slightly racialist
North Carolina State Red Terror - The change to the Wolfpack moniker was made due to the overwhelming backlash on Red Terror from the Women's basketball team

Remember, when you want to know what was goin' on before shit really got goin' on, check out Before they made their bones, only on The Deuce.

His airness....gettin that ass taxed...to the tune of 168million

It seems as though, juanita jordan ,is getting a huge chunk of Mike's empire. I say CRAP, How many dunk's did this female ever throwdown. NONE , that's right , zero, zilch , nautica..If I sound like a bitter old man , then so be it. Having gone through a bitter child support and divorce battle myself , I know exactly how it feels to get fleeced by the gubment and justice system. Crass also knows this feeling as well. Suck it up Mike, in time you will learn that life sux and everyday that goes by , your that much closer to sleepin with the fishes.

Genius to Moron: collegian football edition

These cats got down in a major way in 2006, leading many prognosticators to predict how they would play in 2007, with disastrous results. Here are the notables:
1.Texas QB Colt McCoy's passing - With a 29 TD to 7 int ratio in 2006, the sky seemed to be the limit for McCoy. This year he regressed to a 1 to 1 ratio (16 TDS and 16 ints) and his performance against KSU cost the Horns a chance at the National Championship. His running, however, has improved dramatically, and the kid has a big set of nuts on him. UT still has an outside shot at a BCS berth.
2. Okla. State QB Bobby Reid - At 6-3, 225 with a 4.5 40 yd dash, Reid averaged 250 yards a game and accounted for 30 TDS in 2006. How does he follow that up? By being benched after 2 games.
3. Michigan QB Chad Henne - On what was supposed to be a Big 10 title team, Henne has missed some time, and Big Blue has lost 3 games already. He won't match last year's 2.5 TDS to 1 int ratio this year, and his 2 to 1 ratio in 2007 is misleading, as he has been very average.
4. USC's late game defense - With a great front 4 and the nation's best linebackers, this was thought to be the Trojans' best D in years. The loss to Stanford was inexcusable.
5. Louisville WR Mario Urrutia - Coming off of a 60 catch season in 2006, the 6-7 Urruita was primed for a breakout year in 2007, and a likely early jump to the NFL. He too has missed some time, and his 26 grabs this year aren't going to impress NFL scouts.

We have to remember, folks, these are 19-20 year old kids in some cases, and sometimes they follow up success with pant crapping. In Urrutia's and McCoy's case, they can still right the ship, whereas Reid, Henne and SoCal's D are basically done.

TECH vs. texas....2007 edition....

This years version seems to be a match-up of Goliath gone bad(tu) vs. Typical Tech mediocrity.Stunningly, in a shocker, I like our chances this year . With a descent performance from the defensive side of the ball (with lot's of pressure on lil colty)and some semblance of a running game to keep the banged -up tu secondary honest, Graham and "The Crabman" should have big games. Jamal Charles has me worried but a couple of good, hard shots and he's good for a couple of fumbles.GUN'S UP , horns down.....41-31....PEACE.

ahhhh! JESUS COVE

Well boys... it looks as though our boy Cove is back to his old tricks, beatrix must have blown him out. BOO...IT'S TIME!!!

No Fuckin' Way! GMorriss out at BU

Commy X is in mourning, David Gettis wants to transfer to U of H, and this deal is headed to Hell in a hand basket. That's right, 18 up and 38 down just doesn't get it done, even at a private Baptist school. Baylor U has decided that Guy Morriss is out, after five years in Waco. This really proves what I've said all along: The Big 12 South is the toughest division in college football. Morriss was able to get a basketball school (Kentucky) to go 7-5 in the rugged SEC, but couldn't field a winner at Baylor. Morriss has the background, he was a starter on 2 Super Bowl teams (Philly in 1980 and New England in 1986) and did help revive UK's football program. Baylor used to crank out a lot of NFL players back in the day, particularly on the defensive side of the ball (Mike Singletary, Thomas Everett, James Francis, Don Blackmon, etc.), but hasn't been able to recruit since entering the Big 12. I still believe the potential is there for BU to be good, but they need the right coach. CM's hot name to watch: Alabama O.C. Major Applewhite.

Red Raiders win hands down

With a swim-team like this , who needs a big 12 football title. OK .....I've dreamed of a title my whole life for my beloved Red raiders but if any thing was gonna change my outlook , here it is ...WOW!

My punishment for Dog the Bounty Hunter

Mulletted reality TV douche Duane "Dog" Chapman, famous for imploring whacked out Hawaiian bail jumpers to "get off the ice, bra", is in a bit of a jam for dropping repeated n-bombs on his son's girlfriend. DChapman showed up on Larry King last night, saying that he thought he could use the n-word freely, cus "he was down with the brothers". In hindsight, he says, not a good move. I gotta tell you, I played on football teams that were 90% African American for years and erastus and myself used to routinely go into the hood and be the only white guys on the basketball court, but I never got the idea that dropping the n-word was cool. DuaneC did seem remorseful, but I don't think it's enough. I'd like to suggest that Stone Cold Steve Austin show up in Hawaii and stun (a move where he kicks the victim in the balls, then neck drops him when he bends down) Dog repeatedly. This is a fate erastus has been openly hoping for for years. Not only is the time right, but this will give closure, wildly entertaining closure, to this ugly incident.

fatass to join olberman over on msnbc...wow

maybe this ridiculos excuse for a woman can find some use for olberman's crank. she also is going to be opposite O'reilly , that should make for some interesting t.v..this whale is by far the ugliest , dike-bitch i've ever laid eyes on .

Worst crank ever!!!

MSNBC's Keith Olbermann has a segment on his show called "Worst Human Ever" or some shit like that, where he picks someone who doesn't agree with his politics and hammers them. This guy went from genius (on ESPN) to moron on MSNBC, where his show is just awful. I seem to remember some former flame of KOlbermann saying "he has the worst penis on earth". Awesome. You're number one Keith!!

the assrapists eyeing Tommy Tuberville......plus the rest of EDS"s coaching carousel!!!

Just in from a hot source.....faggies trying to lure Tubs from Auburn. BYU's coach being mentioned as UCLA's "hot hire". If so then does Leach bail on Tech for his former alma mater. Leach's name has also been tossed around in L.A. about the UCLA job. Now..with Houston Nutt on the hot seat in Ark., Gailey at g-tech, the collapse in Lincoln, and even Lloyd Carr , there are several high profile spot's to fill with guy's like Jim Leavitt(south florida), Bo Pelini(d.c. at LSU),and some retreads like Terry Bowden, Larry Coker,and Gary Barnett(heading to the hilltop). Look for a lot of changes at some very prestigous places in the near future. PEACE. OUT.

CM's jism blasts

Ahh, yes, more opines than you can shake your goo spurting stick at, it's CM's jism blasts...I see where the Big 12 has 3 teams in the Top 10, and 4 in the Top 15, with only the Pac 10 having as many as 3 in said Top 15....The Cowboys 7-1 start is only tempered by the fact that they haven't run off with the division or the conference at this point with the Gints, Packers and Rions playing well, and the Saints (my preseason conference champs) charging fast...Texan Adrian Peterson (of the Minnesota Vikings) set the single game rushing record yesterday, and if he stays healthy, look out...X, erastus and myself know a little about this guy, he's really good...If you don't know anything about the Kansas football Jayhawks (9-0 # 4 in the AP poll), their best player is a kid from Dallas, LCB Aqib Talib (6-2, 187), a shutdown corner of the highest order...Their trigger man Todd Reesing is from the Lone Star state as well, bringing their total number of Texans to 26, and those guys always help...No politics, entertainment or apocalypse talk in this version of the fastest growing segment in cyberspace, maybe next time...Until then, CM out...