The one year anniversary of "Blog Wars"

VS.

That's right, y'all, this marks the one year anniversary of our cyber cage fight with the bitch ass bitches at I talk2gotdamnmutherfuckin'much.com. Really doe, my beef wasn't wif the blue flamin' hookers on that site, just one lil' ho ass m'fucker who calls himself "Charred". This site basically rates blogs so The Steve-O in H-Town submitted The Jammy, and of course our love of sports got us lambasted by these whores. The Steve-O then fired a few zingers back at them, prompting this charred (he's some dude with a shaved head and a goatee who probably used to get his milk money taken from him on a daily basis) character to tell him to "go back where you came from, before you get hurt". That led to the posting of this picture (of me at my biggest, 232 lbs in June of 2006) and the subsequent request for charred to hurt ME if he wanted to get down like that. The "cyber-war" lasted about a week and made for some good readin', as well as accusations of rampant steroid abuse on my part (which I take as one hell of a compliment, 'cuz I was naturally built through hard work and diet). Shit has changed over the past year, as I can't post on the Jammy (the original, which I started with 100mph and The Steve-O in 2005) anymore (thanks to Blogger) and have to get down over here on the Deuce with Comrade X. I certainly ain't that swoll (muscular) any more ( I'm down to 217, and can't bench 300 lbs anymore), and I don't really harbor any ill will towards those douches over at that spot. I will , however, leave it at this: In a spat between The Jammy Jackasses and the italk2much.com douche bags, always go with the Jackass, as HE possesses the bigger crank.....Swoll Crassius out.

Uh oh,....What's this...this sucks

Both the Dallas Cowboys and Texas Longhorns, the state's most beloved football consortiums, have some similar issues: The cornerbacks. The 'Boys are dealing with the foot injury of their best cover corner, Terrance Newman. He's got the dreaded plantar fasciatis, which affects his ability to plant and cut, which is a bad deal fo' a corner. It can linger all year, or it can go away in a week. If he can't go, safety Roy Williams will be more exposed than ever (in space), which is also below average. As for the 'Horns, they have opted to go with upperclassman Ryan Palmer over the super talented frosh Chykie Brown on the right side, and are casting their lot with senior Brandon Foster over super soph Deon Beasley on the left side. That means the kids (Brown and Beasley) ain't ready. Texas is still great upfront and has some talented LBs, along with a great set of offensive skill players, but know this: There are 3 positions in football that if you suck, everyone sees it, and it always costs you games some where. They are: QB, Left Tackle and yes, you guessed it: Cornerback. I'm not saying that Palmer and Foster will be bad, I'm just saying I don't know. I do know that 35 year old Aaron Glenn is a steep falloff from Terrance Newman, and that injury could be a season wrecker...... In other news, Baylor has determined that QB Mike Machen (the projected starter), who couldn't cut it at Kent State, isn't quite up to Baylor standards either, and they are going to wait until about an hour before the opening kickoff against TCU this Saturday to name the starter (Blake Szymanski, anyone?). Enjoy, Comra,...errrrr, Bear fan.........Football season officially begins tomorrow with LSU vs. Mississippi State.

Man has 23 tumors on face removed

A Chinese man had 23 tumors from his face removed, and apparently WWE wrestler Farooq showed up at his bedside and uttered his trademark: DAMN!!!

MVick: Cops a plea

Man, when this cat was at VTech, I thought: This dude is better than OU's Jamelle Holloway, who was, at the time, the best option QB I'd ever seen. His speed is unheard of and if he was a safety, he'd probably be the best ever. He could probably play RB or WR and be good at it. As a human, he comes up a lil' short. The word is Mike Vick will cop a plea and do some jail time for his involvement in a dog fighting ring. I'm not a dog-lover per se, but dogfighting is brutal and just plain wrong. The execution of weaker dogs is flat out evil. I don't domesticate animals but, I realize that they are God's creatures and centainly derive no pleasure from their suffering. Mike, you are a helluva player, but what you did was not cool. Enjoy your time in the hoosegow, holmes, you deserve it.

The (Comrade) X Games

Deuce contributor Comrade X has his own version of extreme sports: Pants down broad jumping into rural traffic.

Italian QBs: They help your football

Now this: The UNT Mean Green have named Giovanni Vizza to be their starting QB in 2007. The true freshman from San Antonio has won the job and will be the starter. This all but guarantees a championship season. I don't have to name all of the famous Ito-American QBs, but I will: Brett Favreoini, Payton Manningini, Tom Bradelli and my favorite, the dark skinned (he's probably Sicilian), Vinnie Youngiorno.

Tony S. lands on his feet

Sopranos' star James Gandolfini has signed on to play former Nike and Adidas impresario Sonny Vaccaro, in an upcoming HBO film. Vaccaro (along with Nike) revolutionized the sports shoe industry with his aggressive marketing stylings. Waaay back in the day, when Converse shoes dominated the market, Vaccaro came along and took on the 800 lb. gorilla, by hitting him with everything he had. Back then, college basketball programs had to buy their own shoes and equipment, with maybe a select few getting a "2 for 1" deal. Vaccaro said to hell with that and just gave the programs Nike shoes and equipment, with the understanding that they would become "Nike schools", exclusively. This all played into recruiting, as Nike would sponsor basketball camps for high school players, and they would eventually be steered to Nike schools by street agents (recruiters within the Nike network), so it was a double win-win proposition. If you want to understand the whole sorted process, read the book Raw Recruits, and it will give you an up close view of the seedy underbelly of college sports.

Mike Gravel: The Spartans were gay!

Presidential candidate Mike Gravel (Alaska), said that the Spartans were trained to be homosexual, in order to foster deep feelings of devotion to one another on the battlefield. Gravel, you douche. If that was the case then a gay person could be untrained as well, right? Given the success of the Spartans, why not make the "training" standard in the armed forces? Mikey, love in the foxhole just complicates things. A soldier has an objective, a cold blooded one at that, and adding extra emotions is just stupid. Hey, Alaskan dude: Stop calling Spartans "homos", and stop coming up with poor battlefield ideas.

This Barry was the best in the biz

195 pound Barry Bonds was the best outfielder in the game in the early 1990's. Probably the best all around player too. The 235 lb present incarnation of Barry is a cartoonish train wreck. His body and his DOME are bigger. His average and power spiked AFTER the age of 35. After never hitting 50 homers, he hit 70 plus bombs in a year. With a career average around .300, he then hit .373 one season, also past the age of 35. Supposedly, he was jealous of the press that Sammy Sosa and Mark McGwire got for their home chase of 1998, and he decided to start juicing. It's a shame because he would have been a hall of famer without the 'roids OR the home run record. Because he is an a-hole he basically was jobbed out of about 5 MVP awards (voted on by the media), and he subsequently became a bitterman. It's too bad, because when he was with the Pirates, he was a 5 tool cat and along with Ken Griffey Jr., he was regarded as the best in the biz. It just wasn't enough, tho'. Barry Bonds: A natural born jackass.

CM's DVD o' the week

Knockaround Guys, (2001), was a much hyped, but straight to video movie that has a powerful cast (Vin Diesel, John Malkovich and Dennis Hopper) about these cats who are sons of wise guys, but would like to break into the family business. Barry Pepper and Seth Green are good as well. Check it out if you dig mob movies with a twist.

Hey X: Colt IS the best QB in the nation!

Ok, ok. I'm trying to draw Comrade X offsides with this one. Commie X thought in my University of Texas football preview that I said Colt McCoy was the best QB in the nation. What I said was that Texas has the best set of offensive skill players in the nation. Although I do think McCoy is the best QB in the Big 12, the best QB in the nation is Hawaii's Colt Brennan (6-3, 200).When the Detroit Lions suck again (it's a given that they will), and they need a QB (it's a given that they will) and they are picking very high (it's a given...you get the point), this is the guy to take. He's better than Chad Henne or Brian Brohm. Great arm, great release and although he's not the athlete that Kentucky's Andre Woodson (another good senior QB prospect) is, he ain't bad (4.6 4o yd dash, 500 yards rushing and 5 TDs in 2006). Much like Texas Tech's Graham Harrell, he plays in a wild assed offense, (Brennan threw for 58 TDs in '06) where all QBs put up big numbers, but HE (and Harrell) has big time talent. Mark it down: Hawaii's Colt Brennan is the most talented QB in college football today.