The Deuce

And I am telling you: Navy SEALS Fly Two Bullets Into Osama's Brainpan

2011-05-02T11:43:00.000-07:00

He didn't make it. They did everything they could do, but in the end there was nothing they could do. Buried at sea, just like my turds, except OBL don't float.

Long Night

2009-08-06T07:16:00.000-07:00

For 700 centuries our people have celebrated Long Night, the coldest night in history when all the cavemen almost died, but they didn't.

In the time before our ancestors, beyond the wall of mountains, there was a winter colder than any winter before. And on the coldest, darkest, longest night, the cavemen were barely clinging to life. They were hungry. And between them, they had but one cow to eat. And as the night wore on, more and more people appeared at the cave. Friends, family, strangers, and even worst enemies, all cold, all starving, all desperate for succor. The cavemen could have sent them away, but they didn't. They opened their hearts, and this is what saved their lives, because the warmth of all those bodies pressing together, in the cave, kept them alive. And from that day, until the end of days, so shall it be. Long live Long Night!

Long Night is celebrated on December 21st with friends and foes alike, chugging grain alcohol(1 part beef bullion, 9 parts grain alcohol, just like momma used to make) and eating lots of grilled beef and rotten fruits.

Here is a documentary on Long Night: part 1 & part 2

Neanderthal of the Year 1986

2009-06-23T09:13:00.000-07:00

23 years ago this week in Sports Illustrated:

At the end of a spring training game on March 14, 1986 Houston Astros pitcher Bob Knepper praised the work of home plate umpire Pam Postema, who was hoping to land a job in the majors after 11 years in the minor leagues.

But then Knepper added, "This is not an occupation a woman should be in. In God's society, woman was created in a role of submission to the husband. It's not that woman is inferior, but I don't believe women should be in a leadership role."

Knepper was nominated for Neanderthal of the Year by the Houston chapter of the National Organization for Women.

"NOW is such a blowhard organization," Knepper replied. "They are a bunch of lesbians. Their focus has nothing to do with women's rights. It has everything to do with women wanting to be men."

I can remember seeing signs at games that said "Bob Knepper call your wife N.O.W."

It was an estrogen fueled firestorm at the time, but with 20/20 hindsight, we see who the real bigots were.

The Core 2

2009-06-22T14:10:00.000-07:00

Jaguars coach Jack Del Rio was hoping to get more production from two-time Pro Bowl defensive tackle John Henderson this season. Already, he's disappointed.
Henderson pulled himself out of drills Monday, and Del Rio expressed frustration with the 6-foot-7, 335-pound veteran.

"Back when I played, and even prior to that, I don't think anybody would have had to miss a snap for it," Del Rio said. "I think it's a minor bruise of sorts. I would think Vince Lombardi is probably rolling over right now.

Little known fact: Lombardi was a huge Jaguars fan. "What's this? Henderson's missing OTAs? Contact."

Apparently it doesn't take much for Coach to start moving on an axis. Here are some examples from around the web horn:

In this one Coach is starting to rotate because the Texans won't tank their last game to get Reggie Bush in the draft: If you listen carefully, you will hear the gentle breeze carry with it a faint whirring sound. That sound would be Coach Lombardi, spinning furiously in his grave ...

Another commenter has Vince doing RPMs at the ridiculous suggestion that the Arizona Cardinals make the Super Bowl: I mean, ARIZONA?? Never mind Satan; how about Lombardi spinning in his grave?? LMMFAO

And even the racists are doing it. "Colonel Reb" fires up the Lombardi gyroscope over the idea that black guys can play wide receiver: They’re dreadful at receiving. The amount of dropped passes in the game today must have Vince Lombardi spinning in his grave. Yes Colonel Reb, these fools, using brothers when the 5'3" Scott "Tweeter" Caan is available.

These sins against the football gods have Lombardi spinning so hard he has begun to augur toward the center of the Earth, jeopardizing the rotation of the hot molten core, and threatening our way of life. There's only one way to stop him. Initiate the Halas Protocol.

Doesn't Obama Understand That These Nerds Are A Threat To Our Way Of Life?

2009-05-29T14:11:00.000-07:00

USA Today: Obama says nation needs more nerds

Fascinating...but logical

2009-05-11T11:35:00.000-07:00

Pakistan's President: Osama Bin Laden Is Dead

Hey, Look At Me! I'm Joe Biden

2009-02-08T06:42:00.000-08:00

Fail Whores makes me want to pull for the Lions

2008-12-29T07:26:00.000-08:00

Pictured to the left is Dallas Cowboys coach Wade Phillips. A little background on him tells us that he is 51-29 as a head coach, but winless in the playoffs. Phillips is the "star" of an ongoing show called Fail Whores: The story of the 2007 and 2008 Dallas Cowboys. Phillips leads a team of petulant, young NFLers with a sense of entitlement, and does so with a laid back, non-caring style. I even saw one episode where he wanted the punt team to go onto the field, yet was waved off by his QB, a con man of the highest order, who has used hype instead of action to get big money and chicks. Even the likable characters on this show, such as DeMarcus Ware, have lobbied for individual awards, while in the face of constant losing and failure to meet team goals. I wish team owner and show producer Jerry Jones would harpoon that fat-ass coach of his and get the ship righted before it's too late.

Whale Wars makes me want to pull for the whalers

2008-12-26T15:24:00.000-08:00

Pictured to the left is Capt. Paul Wilson, the "star" of the Animal Planet series Whale Wars. A little background on P-dub tells us that he is an animal rights activist, former member of the Canadian Coast Guard, and a vegetarian (Right. Next, you'll tell me Lorne Greene is not a Mexican). In addition to loving animals, dude has some views on humans as well. Paul-dub thinks that no community should exceed 20,000 people, and the world should only have 1 billion inhabitants at the most. Only those proven to be environmentalists would be allowed to have children, under ol' Paulie's system. Whale Wars is a show which documents the attempts of PWilson and his followers to disrupt whaling activities at any cost. Now, I don't think that whaling is a good practice, but nor do I think that risking human life to stop it is a good move. Captain Wilson disagrees. Watch the show and see how this fat, Canadian faggot sends young members of his crew on life and freedom risking "missions" to "save the whales". I even saw an episode where they had two crew members actually board a Jap whaling boat to deliver a "stop whaling message", and the Japs took the crew members prisoner. After the Japanese and Aussie Governments negotiated the release of the crew, contingent on Wilson meeting the Japs in pre-set location, fat ass fell asleep and left his first mate in charge. His first mate (some dude named Brown) turns out to be a bigger faggot than Wilson. This cocksucker orders the ship to change course en route to the pick-up, to, get this, fuck with the Japs who had just dropped off the crew to an Aussie customs ship, and carry out a dangerous "night mission". While doing so, they lost track of the smaller boat they use to disrupt the whalers (which was carrying 4 humans as well), and then nightfall came. It was only by sheer luck that they did not lose them. When the hostages were returned, Wilson wouldn't even leave the bridge to be the first to shake their hands. Nice. Fat ass Captain Wilson and faggot First Mate Brown make me wish that the Japs would harpoon them. Watch the show and see how these magicians pull off the neat trick of making Jap whalers seem downright fucking sympathetic.

Sammy Baugh: He'd dog cuss ya

2008-12-18T07:44:00.000-08:00

Samuel Adrian Baugh. The Slinger. Sammy Baugh passed away in Rotan, Texas yesterday at the age of 94. With all due respect to Red Grange, Sammy was the first superstar in the early days of the NFL. As a QB, he completed 70% of his passes in a season, a record that stands today. As a punter, he averaged 51 yards a kick, and in a 14-6 win in the NFL Title game over the Bears, he hit an 85 yard punt to help keep the Bears from getting a short field. As a defensive back, he was the first player to intercept 4 passes in a single game. In addition to that, he was drafted by the St. Louis Cardinals as a shortstop. He made a whopping $8,000 his rookie year (unheard of at the time). In today's game, I think he'd get $150 million over 7 years, with about 60 mil. guaranteed. Asked about today's game, the Slinger said: "It's a pussy game. Too much protectin' of the ballcarrier." Sad to see ya go, Slinger, rest in peace.

Not just a big dude, but a decent writer too

2008-12-13T17:48:00.000-08:00

No, Not me. My road dawg Lo"L-Train" Watts (pictured here next to the large cranked former drop linebacker/DE CM) did a post over at www.deependsports.blogspot.com about the floundering Cowboys and the fat ass they call head coach, and the shit is good stuff. Check it out, the kid can write a little.

Smoke up, Wang

2008-12-10T08:34:00.000-08:00

Or should I say, "Herro, got a right?" By 2010, Cancer will overtake heart disease as the number one cause of death, in large part due to the increase in smoking in China and India. These people, much like U.S. Americans, have discovered the unbridled joy of smoking squares. Let 'em smoke, I say. Smoking, eating red meat and driving smoke billowing Studebakers are part of the growth of a nation. Let's get behind the tobacco industry and the oil industry, and sell these good people the products they so richly deserve. It'll be a boost to the economy,and much like the Native Americans appreciated the white man introducing tobacco and alcohol to them, so will their Asian counterparts. America. We can do anything, if we put our minds to it.

Same as it ever was....

2008-12-02T08:01:00.000-08:00

Longhorn fan is upset about the recent BCS goings on, what with OU jumping them in the standings thanks to a 20 point beating of 12th ranked Oklahoma State on Saturday. UT has a point, sort of, with them beating OU by 2 scores on a neutral field earlier this year. Earlier is the key word here, however, and in this case timing is everything. It has kind of always been the case, dating back to the days of the polls in the olden days. Lose early and you can fade it by getting on a roll late, like OU did. So the new system is a lot like the old system ( I could have used a Roger Daltry Jpeg for this post, but DByrne called me last week bitching about his lack of exposure on the Deuce), which underscores the need for a playoff system. Scheduling is not a problem, and money isn't either, as this thing could be wrapped up by late January. You could still use the bowl system (as sites for the games), and with 16 teams, the issue would be settled. Some would argue that the current system does not need to be more "NFL-like", as the difference is what makes college football what it is: unique. Whichever side you come out on, no one cares about the bitching, only who comes out on top in the long run.

Tech vs. OU: Take Tech and the points

2008-11-20T15:26:00.000-08:00

6 and 1/2 is a lot to give Texas Tech, and even though I think OU wins Saturday, Tech doesn't need that much help to cover. That line should be 3 and 1/2. Of course at that, I wouldn't wager a dime, as this should be a tight game. 6 and 1/2? What is Vegas thinking?

Don't count the boys in blue out just yet

2008-11-17T06:34:00.000-08:00

The 'Boys got a big one last night, thanks to Marion Barber and that defense. They knocked 'Skins QB Jason Cambell on his ass, and shut D.C.'s run game down. I know Giant fan thinks they slapped Dallas around two weeks ago, but that was without our #1 corner, QB, backup RB (who averages 9 yards a carry) and a Pro Bowl left guard. That's like beating a fucking strike team. We're getting those dudes back, and regardless of what stupid media faggots and local radio hacks say, that makes a difference. Just ask Santana Moss and that Redskin defense who they'd rather face. The Giants are playing well, but they can be beat. You'll see. You'll all see.

Victory

2008-11-16T07:35:00.000-08:00

No TV for Baylor vs. Aggie, so Comrade X had to make do with the radio broadcast by the unambiguously gay duo of Dave & Dave on the Aggie Jackhole Network. Looking for games to watch with the sound down, I came across Victory on Versus, which fit, with the Nazis all prancing around in their homo jackboots and the Aggies in theirs.

Baylor rolled the Ags 41-21 and it wasn't even that close as the Bears led 41-7 late, but then Baylor didn't have Hatch hanging around their necks like a 5foot 7inch anchor unlike those poor Allied P.O.W. chaps.

Columbus Crew Advances To One-Ball MLS Finals With 2-1 Win Over FC Chicago In EFC Title Game

2008-11-14T06:35:00.000-08:00

Refs call game about three minutes after time expires.

CFB: The teams we follow

2008-11-09T06:19:00.000-08:00

Another giant weekend in collegian football. Some the teams followed by the Deuce were in action, with mixed results:

Texas Technological: Looked dominant offensively and solid defensively. This Graham Harrell kid throws a spiral on every pass. Reminds me of myself in that regard....6 years ago. They've beaten ranked teams in con3cutive games, but 2 were at home. They now travel to Norman where only the Oklahoma State Aggies (Tech's victim Saturday) have ever beaten the Sooners in division play under BStoops. This is where we see if they are a title contender or just a really good BCS team.
Pennsylvania State: If you would have told me that PSU would beat OSU at Columbus, I would've thought, great, they're going undefeated! By the same token no one thought they would be as good as I did, so a one loss, BCS bid, top ten ranking is something I'll have to live with. They did, however let a title shot slip away, at the hands of fucking Iowa.
Austin Liberal Arts Longhorns: Still looming, still lurking, Texas did what they needed to do, and although some think they will be jumped by Florida in the BCS, they probably should still be third. Again, most people, including me, thought 2009 would be the title shot team, but this group has designs on 2008. Bama losing to Auburn or Florida, after Florida losing to FSU would put UT in a great position. Texas vs. Texas Tech for the title? WOW.
Baylor College of Dentistry: Future Top 5 pick and President of the United States RG III had a rough go against UT, but every game he plays in is worth the price of admission, as he does something awesome regardless of the competition. Remember Baylor fan, this is a process. Better days are ahead.

Cougar High and Texas Agricultural and Maroonic played, but we won't talk about that.

Steelers Dump Najeh Davenport

2008-11-08T11:13:00.000-08:00

Growing tired of his crap Pittsburgh released their former No. 2 back even though he is quite a load, possibly because they need more of a scat back, but more likely because he had a tendency to loaf. So long, double double deuce.

TCU: Good news and bad news

2008-11-07T05:33:00.000-08:00

TCU had a chance to go to a BCS game last night by beating Utah, and they dominated the game. They should have scored 30 and won easy. Instead, they missed 2 chip shot FGs, blew 2 easy TDs, and had 2 slow developing pass plays in the red zone that led to 2 10 yard plus loss sacks which took them out of range for 2 more FGs. Utah never led....until 47 seconds to go. Goodbye BCS. Head coach Gary Paterson has compiled a 62-25 record while at the helm, so one might think he would be in line for say, jobs like KSU, Clemson, etc. Well, TCU fan here's the breakdown:
The Good News: If you are worried about Patterson bolting for one of these BCS conference jobs, don't. Me and Guy Morriss aren't the only ones that think GPatterson is a wet blanket of a coach. He gets you close, then like Patroclus fighting the Trojans, he blows it.

The Bad News: If you are hoping Patterson will bolt for one of said BCS jobs, see the Guy Morriss, CM, Patroclus blast above.

Gary Patterson. He is and always will be an idiot.

William J. Kole: A Fucking Faggot

2008-11-05T14:30:00.000-08:00

X posted a link titled: "It's cool to be an American again" or some shit, in the post below, which takes one to an article of the same title in the Charlotte Observer by William J. Kole. If you read the article, it speaks of how m'fuckers in Egypt, Austria, and Jordan are juiced about Obama's win, and that now Americans are no longer singled out for abuse when abroad. It also talks of how we (USA Americans) had to hide our identity, post 9-11, and claim to be Canadians or some other bullshit. Now that Obama is President elect, we can be proud again.......HEY WILLIAM KOLE: I NEVER STOPPED BEING PROUD, AND SINCE YOU CLAIMED TO BE CANADIAN BEFORE YESTERDAY'S ELECTION, YOU SHOULD NOT BE ALLOWED BACK INTO THE USA, YOU MUTHERFUCKIN', GOTDAMN, PUSSIFIED, COCKSUCKING FAGGOTT!!! I sincerely hope, in a good way, that you die a horrible death. Thank you, and.....Good day!

Big Ben Gets Wally Pipped

2008-11-04T08:26:00.000-08:00

Roethlisburger looked like shit until he left the game and Leftwich came in and played like Dennis Miller's famed Magic Man. Omar Epps doppleganger Mike Tomlin would be a Mike Epps level fool to go back to the crap Big Ben was rolling out there. You had a good run Ben. Time to accept it and think about coming to Dallas to back up Romo.

Ohhh, Erection Day.....Herro!

2008-11-04T07:47:00.000-08:00

Just another day for KJ, but a fairly big deal stateside. Vote your conscience, people.

Palin/Autry 2012

2008-10-31T08:52:00.000-07:00

That's right. Once BHO wins on Tuesday, the focus will shift to 2012. Fresno CA. mayor Alan "Bubba" Autry will have won the California Guber race, and he'll fit nicely on the GOP ticket with Palin. Remember, you heard it here first.

NMLF: Steadily gettin' bigger

2008-10-30T17:36:00.000-07:00

Dallas, N.Texas, Wichita Falls, Plano, Arlington, Grand Prairie, San Angelo, Austin, Round Rock, Edinburgh, Brownsville, Corpus Christi, S.Texas, San Antonio, Fort Worth, Hope (Ark.), Shawnee (OK), Norman (OK), and coming soon: Houston, Waller County, Fort Bend, Victoria, Louisiana and Kingsville. These are the franchises in National Minor League Football. As the commish, I'm juiced. The NMLF: Join the chase for the Magnum Cup!

Positive Economic News: Baby Boomer Deaths Could Fuel Funeral Industry Golden Age

2008-10-21T14:19:00.000-07:00

Though dipping slightly over the last several years, and expected to be stagnant for several more, the death rate of about 8.1 per 1,000 people is expected to inch significantly upward sometime in the next decade and eventually go as high as 10.9. The exact dates are tough to pinpoint because of the size of the generation and medical advances.

The End Of An Error

2008-10-21T09:05:00.000-07:00

MillerCoors Ends Production of Zima
22 hours ago

MILWAUKEE (AP) — MillerCoors LLC says goodbye to Zima.

The joint venture between SABMiller's U.S. unit and Molson Coors Brewing Co. told distributors in a letter Monday that production of the malt liquor beverage was discontinued as of Oct. 10.

Chief San Francisco Marketing Officer Andy England says the decision was due to weakness in the "malternative" segment and declining consumer interest.

He says distributors can get remaining Zima inventories most likely through December.

Distributors are being asked to put products from caffeinated alcoholic beverage Sparks on retail store shelves to make up for Zima's absence.

The brand came to the joint venture from Molson Coors and the Broadway production of Lease.

See you on Wednesday!

2008-10-21T05:46:00.000-07:00

When NFL teams win a game the coach sometimes in the post game speech will say: "See you on Wednesday!" Which means, job well done, you get 2 days off for your efforts. I just heard on the radio that the Cowboys will resume practice on Wednesday this week. WHAT THE FUCK?!?! WHY?!? GOTDAMNITT!!! PHILLIPS YOU FAT MOTHERFUCKING LOSER, WHY ARE YOU GIVING THEM 2 DAYS OFF AFTER THAT FUCKING DISPLAY? THEY SHOULD BE PRACTICING ON SUNDAY FUCKING NIGHT!!!!!

He's A Man! He's 18!

2008-10-20T07:44:00.000-07:00

Griffin Breaks Mike Gundy Record For Passes Without Pick

STILLWATER, Okla. (AP) — Baylor quarterback Robert Griffin III set a Bowl Subdivision record on Saturday for the most pass attempts to start a career without an interception by a freshman.

Griffin was 15 of 27 for 162 yards in the Bears' 34-6 loss at Oklahoma State, extending his streak of passes without an interception to 155.

Oklahoma State's Head Coach 41 Year Old Man Mike Gundy set the former record of 138 during his freshman season in 1986. Gundy is now in his fourth season as the Cowboys' coach and 2nd year as self declared man.

Wade Phillips: Loser

2008-10-19T11:24:00.000-07:00

It just didn't work out. Wade has always been a loser, and always will. But hey, he's a rich loser.

SCIENCE: Space Smells Of Steak Says NASA

2008-10-17T08:53:00.000-07:00

OUTER SPACE smells of fried steak, scientists revealed yesterday.

The universe also has an aroma of hot metal and motorbike welding, NASA experts said.

Astronauts reported the bizarre scents on their suits when they returned from space walks.

Why Isn't This Game On TV? I Guess T Boone Pickens Hasn't Given Oklahoma State Enough $ To Afford StillwaterVision

2008-10-15T09:56:00.000-07:00

This is the 27th meeting between Baylor and Oklahoma State. The Cowboys lead the all-time series 14-12 after Oklahoma State’s 45-14 victory last season in Waco. Baylor is 5-8 against Oklahoma State in games played at Stillwater, but the Bears have not won at OSU since 1939 (13-0) and have lost six straight — all coming since the inception of the Big 12 Conference.

The Bears and Cowboys first met Oct. 25, 1914, with OSU blanking Baylor 60-0. The Bears won the next nine meetings before a 20-7 Cowboy victory in 1972. In 1974, an 0-2 Baylor team knocked off 12th-ranked Oklahoma State at Floyd Casey Stadium. That win started an 8-1 stretch to close the regular season for the Bears in a season that culminated with a Southwest Conference championship.

The NCAA ranks the Bears’ schedule as the nation’s eighth-toughest. Baylor’s Division I FBS opponents currently have a 44-20 combined record against Division I FBS opponents.

All three Baylor losses this season have come against teams ranked in the Associated Press Top 25 and the USA Today Coaches’ Poll at some point this season, including two on the day of the game and two currently.

Baylor currently is in a six-game stretch with four games against teams ranked No. 12 nationally or higher with three games against teams ranked in the top 10.

Baylor ranks 18th nationally and second in the Big 12 in rushing (206.2 ypg)

The Bear's freshman QB Robert Griffin ranks 14th nationally in passing efficiency (157.70), and he is 29th nationally in total offense (255.0 ypg).

Griffin ranks seventh nationally in rushing yards per game among quarterbacks, ninth among freshmen, third among true freshmen and first among freshmen quarterbacks.

Saturday 2PM CDT Internet Audio: Live broadcast stream at BaylorBears.com right after Deep End Sports

Jammy2 Justice Beat

2008-10-14T13:22:00.000-07:00

Man who argued he was too fat to die is executed
Boy was he wrong!

Indiana Father Kills Sex Offender Who Broke Into Home
Sex offender too dead to be executed

Cowboys' Adam 'Pacman' Jones suspended again
Pacman ain't a shutdown corner, but Roger Goodell IS a shutdown commissioner

UFC 89: Bisping vs. Leben

2008-10-13T21:18:00.000-07:00

Maybe slightly overlooked in these parts, due to TTech vs. A&M, BU vs OSU, Texas vs Mizzou, and back east due to PSU vs Michigan, and Phils vs. Dodgers, and BoSox vs Rays is UFC 89: Mike "The Count" Bisping vs Chris Leben, a middleweight MMA bout this Saturday on Spike TV. If I'm not flippin' back and forth between games and this one, I'll Tivo the sombich fo' sho. I think the Count and the only man to beat him (split decision UFC 78), heavyweight Rashard Evans, are the best MMAers in the world right now. There is, however, no denying the emotional fury of the volatile Leben. Sober for three months (the longest period in his life since age 13), Leben's moment of clarity couldn't have come at a better time. Upsets happen frequently in MMA, so be on the lookout here. Bisping is good, real good, and Leben is juiced. It'll be better than the Kimbo Slice debacle, without question.

Fuck the polls, here's the REAL top 5

2008-10-12T09:43:00.000-07:00

1.Texas
2.Penn State
3.Alabama
4.Texas Tech
5.Oklahoma State

The Big 12 South: You can hate it, but it's the best thing going.

Three Amigos

2008-10-12T09:06:00.000-07:00

Three years ago, three receivers were in high school and were very highly regarded in the eyes of recruiters. They are all now seniors. Let's take a look at them and where they are now:

Chris Ogbonnaya - Texas - Entered a Texas program loaded with upperclassmen WRs, and was caught in a depth chart logjam before moving to running back before last season. In 2007 Jamaal Charles got most of the carries before leaving for the NFL. In 2008 UT talked about running backs in a platoon situation, giving the senior very little work early in the season. Last week he broke out against Colorado, and yesterday against #1 OU he broke the game open with a 60 yard run. Platoon my ass, that job is his for good.
Derrick Williams - Penn State - Rated as the best player in the nation when he signed with PSU, the do it all speedster has been very good if not spectacular for Joe Pa's Lions. He was so good, I posted about him on another blog before he arrived at Penn State. Along with WRs Norwood, Butler and QB Darryl Clark, they make PSU the favorites in the Big 10.
Jordan Shipley - Texas - Almost as highly regarded as Williams, the slender speedster had trouble staying healthy his first few years at UT, leaving some to wonder if he would ever do anything of note. Well, his kickoff return against OU, along with his terrific play in the slot at receiver has erased any doubt. He reminds me of another white sprinter/KR/WR: Tim Dwight.

This just proves that some come in and get down right away, and others take a little time to develop.

Who Is Sarah Palin?

2008-10-10T15:54:00.000-07:00

First America, now America's Team...Done

2008-10-09T09:20:00.000-07:00

Yep, it's official. The Cowboys are done. Deion Sanders says so, and so does Jaime Dukes. Yep. I guess I'll start looking at the draft and seeing who Dallas can get to try to get this thing turned around. There's always next year.

Nothing personal kid, it's just all over

2008-10-04T20:12:00.000-07:00

Wow. Kimbo Slice, the internet brawler making the transition to MMA, was scheduled to fight legend Ken Shamrock on Saturday on CBS' Saturday Night Fights. Unfortunately, Shamrock suffered a cut above his eye while sparring, sending Elite XC scrambling for a replacement. They came up with Seth Petruzelli, an undersized heavyweight (205 lbs as compared to Slices' 240 pound sack of groceries) from Fort Meyers, Florida, with a record of 10-5. 10 seconds in, Slice got TKO'd with a barrage of punches.

Kimbo Slice: From phenom to footnote.

The new world strateegery: lie and stick to it

2008-10-03T08:24:00.000-07:00

That's what it's come to. If you are wrong or caught in an unfavorable situation, just lie and stick to the lie, and when it comes time to defend your position with facts, just avoid speaking directly about it. Don't let your accuser argue facts, just stick to your lie, and let the "courts" sort it out. If you are adamant about your lie, this will create doubt, reasonable doubt. Lying with conviction. It's the new way of doing things.

How about Woodrow Lowe?

2008-09-30T07:32:00.001-07:00

Cowboys fall out of National Title hunt, new poll released

2008-09-28T19:59:00.000-07:00

The loss to the Redskins severely hurts the Cowboys BCS rankings. Now they'll need help to get to the title game. The new AP poll:

1. Giants - 3-0
2. Redskins - 3 -1
3. Panthers - 3-1
4. Alabama - 5 -0
5. Bills - 4-0
6. Penn State -5-0
7. Dallas - 3-1
8. Titans - 4-0
9. OU - 4-0
10. LSU - 5-0

Dallas is really going to need help to get to the title game. Hopefully the pollsters wll be gentle with them.

Goodbye, Newman

2008-09-28T16:35:00.000-07:00

We are watching a former 4th pick overall in the NFL draft, a guy who has collected 25 million dollars in signing bonuses alone in the past 5 years go from genius to moron. Cowboys CB Terrance Newman is done. It's over. The Dallas front office must have known something when they traded for Adam Jones, and drafted Mike Jenkins and Orlando Scandrick. Maybe he can play safety, he was a good hitter in college.

OSU 27 #1 USC 21; REDEMPTION AT RESER

2008-09-26T12:44:00.000-07:00

Led by the legs of a little man from Houston Lamar Consolidated, Oregon State ran all over the footballplayerrapist led USC Trojans last night at Reser. The Beavs shut down USC's run game, and dat was dat.

Bush speaks on bailout; BFag offers Democratic rebutthole

2008-09-25T07:00:00.000-07:00

President Bush spoke last night about the ongoing financial crisis, with Barney Frank handling the Democratic response. Oddly enough, Frank's response seemed to be based on polls. Lots of polls. Interesting.

BU vs. UConn: Best team ever vs. best recruit ever

2008-09-19T15:45:00.000-07:00

No, not in history, just in the history of these schools. This is UConn's best ever football team since going to Division One 10 years ago. Coach Randy Edsall has his version of the triplets on offense in QB Tyler Lorenzen, RB Andre Dixon, and TE Steve Brouse. Baylor's Robert Griffin is the highest rated Baylor recruit since Cuero's record setting running back Robert Strait showed up in Waco. It should be a shootout. I'll go with UConn, 38-34 in a thriller, since they are at home.

Deep End Sports: Sept. 20th start time change

2008-09-18T10:13:00.000-07:00

This week's show will jump off at 10 am (Central). So instead of not listening from noon 'til 2, you can now not listen from 10 am 'til noon. This week: We preview LSU vs. Auburn, Tennessee vs. Florida, Cowboys vs. Packers, Pittsburgh vs. Philly, and why the Big 12 is the cradle of QBs in collegian football.

This dude is macho and pulls higher ratings than Olbermann

2008-09-18T08:39:00.000-07:00

Who is this guy? ER's Noah Wylie? No. In a world with Larry King and Keith Olbermann, this cat is the Alpha Male. MSNBC's Rocky Maddow has pulled even higher ratings than King or Keef. Well done, dude. If I ever get to meet you, man, we'll chest bump.

NFC East: 4 good teams, only 3 playoff spots

2008-09-16T19:47:00.000-07:00

The NFC East is hyper competitive, as always, and the 4 members of the NFL's Fight Club all have a good combo of new (free agent) vets and emerging (in house, drafted) players.
NY Giants: The new vets: Safety Sammy Knight and LB Danny Clark. The emerging home grown talent: RB Brandon Jacobs, TE Kevin Boss, CB Aaron Ross, G Chris Snee, WR Steve Smith and De Justin Tuck
Dallas Cowboys: The new vets: LB Zach Thomas, CB Adam Jones. The home grown talent: RB/KR Felix Jones, CB Mike Jenkins, LB Anthony Spencer, DT Jay Ratliff, TE Martellus Bennett, WR Miles Austin, DE Chris Canty
Philly Eagles: The new vets: CB Asante Samuel, DE Chris Clemons. The homies: WR DeSean Jackson, LB Chris Gocong, Safety Quintin Mikell, P Sav Rocca, DT Trevor Laws
Washington Redskins: The new vets: DE Jason Taylor, LB London Fletcher. Home grown: LB Rocky McIntosh, FS LaRon Landry, QB Jason Campbell, TE Fred Davis

This is what you have to have. Contributions from many, on both sides of the ball, from free agents, rookies and young vets. This is how you win.

Crassius Maximus IV leads the SVAA Hurricanes to a preseason win, 25-24

2008-09-15T15:05:00.001-07:00

Lil' Troy Maximus had 3 carries for 100 yards, including a thrilling 65 yard TD, and another 30 yard TD, as the CM led 'Canes knocked off the Jaguars in the rain on Saturday. CM IV also had two of his passes dropped (blame the rain) by his receivers, one of which would have been a 40 yd score. I'm telling you, he's the white Vince Young...Or should I say Robert Griffin III?

If you want to know what to look for...

2008-09-15T06:26:00.000-07:00

Trust the Deuce and Deep End Sports. ABC's Kirk Herbstreit and Lee Corso do, as they parroted Deep End Sports gasbag Johnny Cane when Herbstreit said that OSU would get Terrelle Pryor more involved to offset the loss of Beanie Wells, and Corso said to look out for USC RB Joe McKnight, one of SIX RBs USC uses. Well, well, well. Pryor played more than he had all year, and Joe McKnight had 100 yards. Sounds like a replay of Deep End Sports, which took place 5 hours earlier. No thanks needed Herbstreit and Corso, tune in any time you need info for your pregame analysis. Big 12 pundit Pat Jones does too. X tells me that he went on and on about Baylor frosh QB Robert Griffin III being a kid to build a program around, and that not only would he help on the field, but that he would help recruiting as well. This only two weeks after Deep End Sports called this kid "the dominant factor" in turning Baylor football around. Yep, you can wait until the mainsteam media gets around to telling you the deal, or you can be out in front. The choice is yours.

X and Erastus set to open "Ho Cake" franchise in the L.E.S.

2008-09-12T15:50:00.000-07:00

That's right, everybody loves Ho cakes!!

Herro! I'm gravery Irr!

2008-09-09T08:30:00.000-07:00

First Castro, now KJ? Sean Penn is having a bad day.

All Texas NFL team (defense)

2008-09-08T19:21:00.000-07:00

Pt. II y'all, the defenders:

DL: Tommie Harris, Chi.- (Kileen) - Dominant quicks, talent

DL: Casey Hampton, Pitt.- (Galveston) - The best in the biz, 5 time running All Pro

DL: Shaun Rogers, Cle. - (La Porte) - Best kick blocker in the game, hands down

DL: Aaron Schobel, Buf. - (Columbus) - Decent, 7 sacks a year type

OLB: Derrick Johnson, K.C. - (Waco) - Speedy speed merchant

OLB: Akin Ayodele, Mia. - (Irving MacArthur) - Solid, sturdy player

MLB: Zach Thomas, Dal. - (White Deer) - All Pro when healthy

FS: Brodney Pool, Cle. - (Houston Westbury) - Borderline All Pro

SS: Mike Huff, Oak. - (Irving Nimitz) - Great tackler, Speed

CB: Nate Vashar, Chi. - (Texas High, Texarkana) - All pro picks off many a pass

CB: Quentin Jammer, S.D. - (Angleton) - Physical RCB with long arms

K:Phil Dawson, Cle. - (Lake Highlands, Dallas) - Big leg, consistent

ST: Keith Davis, Dal. - (Italy) - Great cover guy

Not as good as the offense, but still damn good.

All Texas NFL team (offense)

2008-09-08T18:29:00.000-07:00

If all NFL players were forced to play in their home state, this is what a Texas team would look like:

QB: Drew Brees, N.O. - (Austin Westlake) - Good release, good decision maker; Vince Young (Hou. Madison)

RB: LaDanian Thomlinson, S.D. -(Waco University)- The Man; Adrian Peterson, Minn.(Palestine) The next man

FB: Ahmard Hall, Tenn.-(Galveston)- Solid

OT: Leonard Davis, Dal. - (Wortham) - Massive, All Pro

OT: Derrick Dockery, Buf. - (Garland Centennial) - Another Giant

OG: Alan Faneca, N.Y. - (Houston Lamar) -Simply the best

OG: Brian Watters, K.C. - (Waxahachie) - All Pro 5 years in a row

C: Andre Gurode, Dal. - (Houston Galena Park) - The best C in the game

TE: Bubba Franks, N.Y. Jets - (Sulphur Springs) - Good blocker, O.K. receiver

WR: Donald Driver, G.B. - (Houston Sterling) - Will get deep on your ass

WR: Roy Williams, Det. - (Odessa Permian) - More talent than Moss or T.O.

PR/KR: Dante Hall, St.L. - (Lufkin) - Ran one back last year against Dallas, he stil can do it

P: Shane Lechler, Oak. - (East Bernard) - 5 time All pro, the best

Pretty dominant in the run game, not bad at the pass.
Up Next: The Defense

New England: It's over; Seattle: You suck; Detroit: Same ol' Lions

2008-09-07T18:30:00.000-07:00

Tom Brady done for the season, that means the Pats are too...Seattle got drilled by the Bills, and I wouldn't look for Seahawk QB Matt Hasselbach's bulging disk to get better any time soon...The Lions crapped their pants against the Falcons, so they can't be considered contenders....Carolina sacked up against San Diego, even with no Steve Smith....Dallas dealt on Cleveland, even with starters missing on both sides of the ball, the Pokes look very potent....The Eagles lit up a really crappy St. Louis bunch, setting up a good Monday Night Football matchup next week....The Saints won a diveesion game against the Bucs, and looked OK but not great....The Texans looked expansionesque against the Steelers, as questions abound in Houston....Tennessee won a tight game against Jacksonville, but now VYoung is out 4 weeks....We'll see how long Chicago is able to hang in against the Colts, so far so good...Remember, for matter of fact declarations after one week, be sure to check out the Deuce

Crassius Maximus named head coach of SVAA Hurricanes

2008-09-06T20:32:00.000-07:00

In a move designed to take the SVAA to another level, Crassius Maximus was named head coach of the Lake Highlands Hurricanes. The 'Canes are a flag football team comprised of 8 year olds, in the Lake Highlands (Dallas) area. Look for CM to institute elements of the West Coast Offense, the Spread Offense, and the GSOT offense, employed by the St. Louis Rams of the early 2000's. In an unrelated story, the 'Canes have named Crassius Maximus III, (of Troy), the frontrunner for the starting QB, WR, RB, FS and KR positions. Stay tuned to the Deuce for updates on 'Cane football this fall.

B. F. Mike Moore to offer "Slacker Uprising" free on internet; Apathy builds

2008-09-05T08:11:00.000-07:00

Lard Ass Mike Moore will stream his new film "Slacker Uprising" on the internet as opposed to showing it in theaters in early October. The film details registration of young voters in 2004, young Democrats, that is. Hey, it's easy enough to get these cats to register, getting them to vote is another story. Hey, BF Mike Moore: Stop using ranch dressing IVs, and stop making movies. I wish Mike Ditka would knock your ass out.

Deep End Sports: We'll do better this week! We promise!

2008-09-04T07:10:00.000-07:00

With Train in the ATL, the show was below average last week, but modifications have been made. We promise more porno star fantasy drafts, sleep it off blasts, and random accusations of homosexuality. Tune in noon to 2pm (Central) to find out.

Marble Mouth: "There is no Eastern, Liberal media bias"

2008-09-03T18:16:00.000-07:00

Oh. Ok. Next you'll tell me that Lorne Greene is not a Mexican.

CM's NFL Best

2008-09-03T12:32:00.000-07:00

The best in the show, as of right now:

Passer - Peyton Manning - Indy - pretty obvious pick here. On the rise: David Garrard - Jax.; Tony Romo - Dallas

Runner - LaDanian Thomlinson -SD - Speed and power. On the rise: Marion Barber - Dallas

Blocker - Alan Faneca - NY Jets - Best for the past 3 years and running. On the rise: Joe Thomas Cle.

Receiver- Braylon Edwards - Cle. - Perfect routes, great feet and hands, the prototype. On the rise: Andre Johnson - Hou.

D-Lineman - Kevin Williams - SD - The best one technique player in the game. On the rise: Mario Williams - Hou.

Linebacker - DeMarcus Ware - Dal. - Great pass rusher, do-it-all type. On the rise: Lofa Tatupu - Sea.

Safety - Bob Sanders - Indy. - Terrific against the run and pass. On the rise: Atari Bigby - GB

Cornerback - Champ Bailey - Den. - Until proven otherwise. On the rise: Marcus Trufant - Sea.

Coach: Tony Dungy - Ind. Smart and classy, unlike some cheaters we know. On the rise: Mike Tomlin - Pitt.

There you have it. No Ogden, No Peppers, No Owens or Moss, and No Joey Porter. The NFL truly means Not for long.

BHOrns?

2008-09-02T16:25:00.000-07:00

Barry Obamer probably won't get all of the Deuce crew's votes now! Hey, we owe BHO a ton for instructing Gen. Petraeus on military tactics, which led to the handing over of the Anbar province to the Iraqi security forces. It kind of went unreported (the handing over of the violent province and subsequent troop redeployment), which is amazing, since BHO was the driving force in supporting the surge, and teaching Petraeus how to best utilize the Marines with smaller, more numerous foot patrols and what not.

www.firemikesherman.com

2008-08-31T06:50:00.000-07:00

I said when the hire was made it was a yawner, but I thought they could muddle past Ark. St., who by the way, played UT tough last year (21-13), but obviously, A&M coah Mike Sherman is a moron. Hey, I know TTech struggled against a hoorible Eastern Washington team they were expected to hang 70 on, but at least they eked out a win. They say Aggies don't boo aggies, but after this they need to start. The Ags haven't won a National Title in 70 years, and me thinks that maybe it's because of shit like that. Brutal.

More CFB: Hey everybody! it's Bich Rodriguez! Utah knocks off Michigan @ big house

Bowling Green goat slaps #25 Pitt

It's official: The ACC blows as #24 Alabama ( a team thought to be at least a year away from being Alabama type good) ass rapes #9 Clempson ( I went ahead and put the P in, for phonetics sake)

texas tech vs. a&m ........you make the call?

2008-08-30T12:15:00.001-07:00

nuff said !!!!

BHO, RGIII, LG and GL

2008-08-29T04:51:00.000-07:00

The entire Deuce crew was on hand at one of X's 8 houses last night and we checked in on Barry Obamer and Delaware Joey Plugs at the DNC....Yes BHO was likable and gave a good speech, however the douche to seemingly normal human being ratio in the crowd was a robust 3 to 1, in favor of the douches......We also flipped over to the Baylor/Wake Farrest matchup as college football got underway, and we saw the dazzling debut of BU QB Robert Griffin III, or RG III as he has been dubbed.....Bee Yew got smacked, but we were all in agreeance that Tre' is money, and evoked memories of another #10 down Austin way from a few years back, as the kid is just that talented....You can build a program around a kid like that....It's also become obvious to me that Lorne Greene is George Lopez' biological father, which just furthers the Mexican rumors, even further.....It's Labor Day weekend, so enjoy a Scrapple sandwich in honor of Joey Plugs, and begin the ramp up to the RNC, where the stiff to normal human being ratio will be out of whack as well.

"Errr, Uhh, there's a 1000$ leaving town tax"

2008-08-28T07:57:00.000-07:00

Now this: Out in Cali they are trying tax people for fleeing high tax areas and also for dying. Again I say, they get you coming and going, just who the hell are these people?

Gustav: The ill doochey

2008-08-28T07:15:00.000-07:00

Already being called Katrina II, tropical storm Gustav is headed down Louisiana way, and it's going to be interesting to see how new La. Guber Bobby Jindal handles things. I hope that the Bush hurricane steering machine swerves this thing out of the area and Jindal's considerable skills aren't needed. Hey, he can't do any worse than Katy Blanco and RNagin did in '05. In all seriousness, this thing has killed at least 22 people so far, so let's hope for the best for our Gulf Coast peeps.

VY in trouble in Tennessee?

2008-08-27T16:17:00.000-07:00

That's what I'm hearing from local radio hacks, folks, that Vince Young is on the hot seat in Titan ville. I'm fucking dumbfounded by this one. He comes in as a rook in 2006, has his struggles, but the team that picked 3rd in the draft the previous year made a run at the last playoff spot in the hyper-competitive AFC, with VY at the helm as a rookie. Then in 2007, they go a step further and actually make the playoffs in VY's 2nd year. I know his numbers aren't great, but compare his run to Troy Aikman's: 1-15 1st year; 7-9 2nd year; 11-5 playoffs in his 3rd year. Yet Vince is taking heat? Hey, stupid local Polish radio hack: The Bears, Chiefs, Dolphins, Bills, 49ers, Cardinals, Vikes, Texans, Raiders, Bucs, and maybe even the Eagles would love to have this guy. You and the Tennessee fans can't be that stupid.

War on Terror Update: Confidence in War on Terror and Iraq at Highest Level Ever

2008-08-27T02:11:00.000-07:00

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Voter confidence in the War on Terror is at the highest level ever recorded since Rasmussen Reports began regular tracking in January 2004. Fifty-four percent (54%) of American voters now think the United States and its allies are winning the war. The previous high-water mark for optimism--52%--was reached a handful of times in September and October 2004.

Fick and Colbert in 2008

2008-08-26T18:19:00.000-07:00

Obama? McCain? Neither. Here's an unbeatable ticket we can all get behind: Nate Fick as President and Brad "Iceman" Colbert as VP. For years Steve Austin (WWE) was my favorite TV personality of all time, with Tony Soprano and The Rock (Dewayne Johnson) right behind him. I can now say that all of these cats have been usurped by the real life (or should I say Actual) characters on HBO's Generation Kill. Lt. Fick and Sgt. Colbert make me as proud to be an American as I've ever been in my life. Change?!? We Can Believe In?!? Man, fuck all you non Americans who hate America, and fuck all you Americans who bitch about how messed up our country is. Here's change you can believe in: Bad mouth my country within my 76 inch reach, and I'll punch you dead in the face, which will change the way your face feels. America isn't perfect, but it's still number one. Who else? Russia? The ChiComs? Iran? The fucking European Union? Come....the....Fuck...on! I've lived a great 39 years in this country, and would gladly die to keep this thing up and going for my sons, and the rest of my fellow Yanks if necessary. It may be disingenuous for someone as healthy and fortunate as myself to make these claims, and I'll admit to being very blessed, but it's true, it's damn true. If you hate America, just say it to my face. Please, just say it to my face. Fick and Colbert in 2008: Stay Frosty America.

Strive for honor evermore...Long live the matadors.

2008-08-26T11:55:00.000-07:00

Is this the year? For about forty years I've been waiting for my beloved Red Raiders to make a run at something. Anything? Finally , here we are, with a pre-season ranking of #8. Myself and crass have had this conversation on several ocassions, Why can't Lubbock do what they have been able to do in places like Manhattan,Kansas Eugene,Oregon or even freakin Hawaii. So i ask ya'll to join me in my weekly quest to bring a Big 12 title and who know's , maybe even a national title , back to the south plains. It's been a long time coming for this shot!

Lance Bass edges X out for spot on "Dancing with the Stars"

2008-08-25T16:23:00.000-07:00

"I can't believe it", whimpered the flamboyant Deuce contributor, " I'm more flaming than Bass or Cubes!!"

there sure are a lot of mexicans at the fair!!!!

2008-08-15T13:50:00.001-07:00

Just thought i'd join in on the racial post's , as well as that CRAP crass and X are rolling out there.

"Now you'll tell me that Lorne Greene is not a Mexican"

2008-08-15T11:09:00.000-07:00

Much like Recon was out of the game until last week's episode of Gen. Kill, so too is Crass, until next Tuesday any way. Until then, stay tuned for more of X's updates from Beijing.

Selectively Inbred Human Opposes Selective Breeding Of Plants

2008-08-13T15:31:00.000-07:00

Sir, Step Away From The Counter And Get Down On The Ground Now!

2008-08-13T12:48:00.000-07:00

While L.A. bans fast food in South Central, Mississippi goes whole hog and considers banning fat people from restaurants:

Mississippi, the fattest state in the Union, introduced a bill last Friday that would ban some restaurants from serving anyone with a BMI over 30.

Meanwhile Olympic fatass Michael Phelps confesses to his 12,000 calorie a day diet:

Phelps lends a new spin to the phrase "Breakfast of Champions" by starting off his day by eating three fried-egg sandwiches loaded with cheese, lettuce, tomatoes, fried onions and mayonnaise.
He follows that up with two cups of coffee, a five-egg omelet, a bowl of grits, three slices of French toast topped with powdered sugar and three chocolate-chip pancakes.

At lunch, Phelps gobbles up a pound of enriched pasta and two large ham and cheese sandwiches slathered with mayo on white bread - capping off the meal by chugging about 1,000 calories worth of energy drinks.

For dinner, Phelps really loads up on the carbs - what he needs to give him plenty of energy for his five-hours-a-day, six-days-a-week regimen - with a pound of pasta and an entire pizza.
He washes all that down with another 1,000 calories worth of energy drinks.

WTF? Chinese Use Son of Hitler's Architect To Design Olympics

2008-08-13T06:51:00.000-07:00

Albert Speer Jr., Like Father Like Son in Olympic Design?

op-ed by Nina Khrushcheva in the Guardian entitled, "Olympic Hubris." In it, she makes connections between Albert Speer's designs for the 1936 Berlin Olympics and the hiring of his son, Albert Speer Jr., to design the master plan for the Beijing Olympics.

Totalitarian regimes -- the Nazis, the Soviets in 1980, and now the Chinese -- desire to host the Olympics as a way to signal to the world their superiority. China believes that it has found its own model to develop and modernise, and its rulers regard the games in the same way as the Nazis and Leonid Brezhnev did, as a means of "selling" their model to a global audience.

Obviously, the Chinese were naive to choose an architect whose name carried such dark historical connotations. The name of Speer itself probably did not matter to the officials who chose him. They sought to stage an Olympics that made manifest their image of themselves, and Speer Jr, looking back to his father's mastery of the architecture of power, delivered the goods.

The opening ceremonies did have a creepy vibe at times. When it wasn't a ridiculous vibe.

National Socialist Germany and the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics each survived nine years after hosting Olympic Games. Here's to the 2017 demise of Communist China.

The author of the op-ed, Nina Khrushcheva, is Nikita Khrushchev's grandaughter. The author of this blogpost, Comrade X, is possibly related to Ghengis Khan along with an estimated 1/3 of the Earth's population.

Oh Herro!

2008-08-12T11:13:00.000-07:00

Spain's Olympic basketball teams have risked upsetting their Chinese hosts by posing for a pre-Games advert making slit-eyed gestures. The advert for a courier company, which is an official sponsor of the Spanish Basketball Federation, occupied a full page in the sports daily Marca, the country's best-selling newspaper. Spaniards are considered the most racist of all the different types of Mexicans.

Election 2000 Flashback

2008-08-12T09:10:00.000-07:00

MLB World Series Program: "What do you think of domed stadiums?"

"Gore: 'The design and construction of domed stadiums - in Seattle (the Kingdome was the first free-standing current dome ever built), Houston (the Astrodome was the first stadium to use astroturf) and Minnesota (the Metrodome is the only stadium in the USA whose roof is suspended without beams or rods - it's supported by air pressure), for example - have been feats of architectural and engineering excellence. But the real measure of any stadium, domed or otherwise, is how much fun you have inside.'

"Bush: 'I like to go to baseball games outside.'"

As to the significance of all this, leave it (as usual) to the foreigners:

"It's an astonishing document, isn't it?" (Tim) Blair wrote. "Baseball has provided the character analysis all those debates merely hinted at. Gore = egocentric blowhard. Bush = Gump-like savant."

Putin Rates The Euros: "They're Pussies!"

2008-08-12T06:18:00.000-07:00

Richard Dolan: "Having taken the Europeans' measure in Kosovo/Bosnia in the '90s and Iraq, Iran and Afghanistan more recently, he knows that the European end of "strong transatlantic unity" is all talk, no action. Nor, given the Europeans' dependence on Russian oil and gas, need Putin worry about economic sanctions or pressure, which in all events the Europeans would not invoke. "

Whip Underinflation Now

2008-08-07T15:29:00.000-07:00

The debate over whether to drill for more oil or air up your tires intensifies.

As Alan Greenspan said about the original Whip Inflation Now campaign back in 1974: "This is unbelievably stupid".

Deep End Sports: Cats in Cali, kids in Kansas, and now:.....MELNICK!!!

2008-08-05T15:35:00.000-07:00

Deep End Sports, the Internet radio show with fan(s) in Chelsea, MA., Olathe KS., and California, has now cracked the Great White Way. That's right, New Yoke City is in full effect, thank to the the appearance of longtime T.W.I.B. (This Week in Baseball) contributor and one half of the legendary Melnick and Greco show, Lenny Melnick. Len registered his approval of our lil' production, as well as some inside dope on Joe Torre and th' LA Dodgers, when he called into last Saturday's show. Big ups Len, you've inspired us to keep this dog and pony show up and going for one more week at least.

RGoodell: "I am third"

2008-08-01T05:57:00.000-07:00

Among notable commissioners, Roger Goodell very graciously had ranked himself third. "First, of course, is National Minor League Football ( www.nmlf.org ) commish, Crassius Maximus, what with his decisive, dynamic stylings."
"Second, no doubt, is Xerxes, commissioner of the fledging PGKL, or Persian God King League. "

"Which, obviously, leaves me third, as I'm way better than Stern or Selig."

"W" trailer hits You Tube..

2008-07-29T15:26:00.000-07:00

The trailer for the new Oliver Stone movie "W" is available on you tube. I'd post a link, but it's so bad, you won't want to waste your time....That, and I suck at posting links..

Here at the Deuce, we don't worry...We have blogspot Jesus

2008-07-28T06:41:00.000-07:00

Thank you, X, errrrr Blogspot Jesus, through you, all is possible.

Deep End Sports: HECHO EN AMERICA

2008-07-27T20:31:00.000-07:00

The studios on Skillman...A flatulent flat, where it flat out gets done.

The Cowboys open training camp today, so you know what that means....

2008-07-24T06:03:00.000-07:00

That's right, it means the Texas Rangers are out of the pennant race. Of course, they were barely in it, but when the Cowboys team charter to California took off, the Rangers promptly gave up a 4 run lead in the 8th inning to the ChiSox, losing in glorious fashion, for their 2nd straight series loss. They hadn't lost 2 consecutive series since April, but now that the Cowboys have gotten underway, the Rangers have been given their cue to start the yearly post All-Star game swoon.Like death, taxes and CM's massive crank, it's inevitable.

So I had a bad year in 2007....The dudes playing next to me were idiots!

2008-07-21T08:15:00.000-07:00

Yes, it's true, Julius Peppers had a sub par '07. However, with no Cookie Puss (DT Kris Jenkins, who was hurt and now plays for the Jets) or Mike Rucker (DE opposite Peppers, also hurt, now retired), the dudes playing next to him were idiots. This was confirmed by rabble-rousing, Deep End Sports Radio Show gasbag Johnny Cane, on Saturday's program. Be sure to check it out at: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/CB-20 .Click on the July 19th, 2008 show to hear these and other incendiary comments, as well as tips on where to score some cool syrup dispensers...which could be used for pancakes, waffles, french toast...etc..

Generation Kill: Don't be a pussy

2008-07-17T06:59:00.000-07:00

Check out HBO's Generation Kill mini-series and be glad of one fact: These dudes are on our side.

Fucking Liars

2008-07-15T14:42:00.000-07:00

67% of U.S. Americans want the ban on drilling for oil lifted. Supply and demand teaches us that demand drives up the price of any commodity or service. Increase the supply and the price goes down. India and China are adding to the worldwide demand, thus raising the cost. The U.S.A. has 18 billion barrels of untapped oil just waiting to be accessed. This would supply America for about 10 years. The mere mention of U.S. drilling would cause pant crapping by speculators and drive the price down. Actual drilling would create jobs, bolster reserves, and the tax revenue generated would be enormous. This tax revenue could be used to regulate the drilling and to minimize the ecological risk, in addition to funding various other forms of government spending. Cutting Americans' fuel costs by 25-40% would put more money in their pockets, which they would invariably spend, which would then be taxed again, so everybody would get a piece, and WE ALL WOULD WIN. Let's get those in power as well as those potentially in power's take on whether or not to drill on the record, right now:

Sen. Barack Obama (D)-Ill. - Against drilling

Sen. John McCain (R)-Ariz. - For drilling

Sen. Harry Reid (D)-Nev. - Against drilling

Sen. Nancy Pelosi (D)-Cal. - Against drilling

Gov. John Corzine (D)-N.J. - Against drilling

Gov. Charlie Crist (R)-Fla. - For drilling

President George W. Bush (R) - For drilling

Hmmm. I see a common thread....Do you?

Oregon woman has 140 lb. tumor removed

2008-07-15T05:28:00.000-07:00

In an unrelated story, sweet and sour "chicken" was served at Portland and Beaverton Hobo shelters.

East Dallas Garage Sale....

2008-07-13T17:21:00.000-07:00

How can I save you any money if you don't come see me?

Is the USA still at war?

2008-07-02T07:43:00.000-07:00

I hadn't heard anything lately, and I'm wondering if that deal is still up and going in Iraq. Believe it or not, some have speculated that the media is not reporting on the war due to the overwhelming success of our military.....So, the media is biased? NO FUCKING WAY!!!

FAG-ROD AND WHORDONNA????

2008-07-01T11:44:00.000-07:00

Say it ain't so . Apparently she's been sneaking him into a side door in her N.Y.C. apartment building. My how far the mighty have fallen since his day's at THE BALLPARK! Largest contract in sports history and all he can come up with , is this trash-hole!Jeeeeez!

Deep End Sports special guest: Lincoln Coleman

2008-06-30T08:54:00.000-07:00

On the heels of last week's marginally successful show featuring former NFLer Rickey Dixon, the Deep End Sports crew will have former Dallas Cowboy and Super Bowl Champion RB Lincoln Coleman on Saturday, July 5th's extravaganza. Be sure to tune in at noon CT, and give ol' Johnny Cane a call @ 646-200-4035. If you can't call or have sleep issues, listen @ www.blogtalkradio.com/CB-20 . Have a good supply of ice chips handy.

Deep End Sports: Trolling for listeners

2008-06-26T09:42:00.000-07:00

In an effort to expand their listener ship into the tens of tens of people worldwide, Deep End Sports (http://www.blogtalkradio.com/CB-20) has confirmed that former OU Sooner, Cincy Bengal, and LA Raider DB Rickey Dixon will be a guest on this week's show. We'll talk about his OU days, Barry Switzer, covering Mike Irvin in the 1987 national championship game, the Ickey Shuffle, playing in the Super Bowl, and his involvement in National Minor League Football.....For the love of God, listen this Saturday from Noon to 2 p.m. CST! You can even call the show, at 646-200-4035!!!

More GCarlin: "The earth has been around 4.5 billion years, industry has only existed for 200, therefore environmentalists are stupid"

2008-06-25T06:51:00.000-07:00

Make the world a better place, punch queen Alger in the face.

Look out, re-create 68ers, the crap cannon is looming

2008-06-11T14:24:00.000-07:00

Today, in between Dingy Harry and Sandy Burglar blasts, John McCain impressions, and calling the old whore on Sex and the City just that, Rush Limbaugh mentioned a Fox News story about Denver law enforcement's plans for the upcoming Democratic convention: Breaking out ol' brown note. You may have heard about the Democrat lunatic fringe, wanting to "re-create 1968" (a reference to the violent protests at the 1968 Dem. convention held in Chicago) , with modern day riots of their own. Well, Denver PD is considering using a "crap cannon" to combat the crowds. The device emits a low frequency tone, which causes one to....well, crap their pants. Sounds eerily similar to a SouthPark episode, where an instrument plays a note that causes those near to run away while saying: "I think I crapped my pants!" Those guys over at the Denver PD....they're OK!

Why Oil Prices Will Tank

2008-06-06T07:44:00.000-07:00

This CNNMoney/Fortune article gets it exactly right:

"Arguments that $4-a-gallon gas (or even higher) is here to stay are dead wrong. Housing's boom-and-bust cycle tells you why.

NEW YORK (Fortune) -- High-flying tech stocks crashed. The roaring housing market crumbled. And oil, rest assured, will follow the same path down.
Not everyone agrees. In an echo of our most recent market frenzies, some experts pronounce that the "world has changed," and that the demand spikes, supply disruptions, and government bungling we face now will saddle us with a future of $4, $5 or even $10 a gallon gasoline.
But if you stick to basic economics, it's clear that the only question is when - not if - prices will succumb."

Read the whole thing and find out why $4 a gallon is unsustainable.

Malaysians are rioting over 84 cent a gallon gasoline, up from 50 cents because their government can't afford to keep paying the $2-3 a gallon subsidy they've been providing to their citizens. Something will have to give; either the Malaysian treasury, Malaysian ability to pay, or demand. Similar situations are playing out in India, China, Iran, and many other nations that subsidize gasoline sales.

X will explain in a future post why now is the time to increase gas taxes in the U.S. and it's got nothing to do with Global Warming.

X celebrates his 50th birthday with a pint as 39 yr. old CM looks on

2008-05-29T08:19:00.000-07:00

Happy 50th birthday X!!!!